When the Ball Drops
by ariviand
Summary: New Years 2010. Magnus is throwing a party at his loft, to which Alec was dragged along. What happens when the ball drops?
1. Wandering

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

New Years 2009/10  
(Post-City of Glass)

A "Malec" fan fic

**Disclaimer:** The characters Magnus Bane and Alexander (Alec) Lightwood are the sole creative property of Cassandra Clare. I'm just borrowing them for the night. This is just an idea I'm running with, a new mini-fic for the new year.

* * *

"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3..2..1! _HAPPY NEW YEAR_!"

Colorful confetti burst from the ceiling. Alec had no idea where it came from, or where it was being stored all this time. Obviously it was the product of magic. Within a High Warlock's apartment, he shouldn't be surprised.

Alec _was_ irritated, however. The colorful flecks of paper were falling into his face. He swat the confetti out of his eyes in annoyance, leaving the bits in his hair for now, but only because it hadn't finished falling. He felt utterly stupid, wearing a colorful confetti headdress and corduroy slacks.

Magnus had insisted. He said the dark navy pants were so right for him. Vintage comfy. That was Alec's personal style.

Alec didn't know a thing about vintage – or "personal style" for that matter, but comfort was a high priority. And he wasn't denying that the material of the pants were comfortable; it was just the fit that bothered him. He wasn't used to wearing pants that were so tight.

"They're not tight," Magnus had argued. "They just fit. I know, it's a new concept. You'll get used it."

But Alec hadn't adjusted yet. He shuffled awkwardly, jerking his thumbs through the pockets of his pants in an attempt to pull them away from his skin. Why did they have to be so clingy?

Scowling, he glanced up through the hair and paper debris in his eyes, realizing belatedly that everyone around him was kissing and hugging.

Alec's face heated up. Magnus hadn't mentioned anything about a mass-orgy at midnight. He had only warned Alec that there would be alcohol, that most of the people invited were Downworlders, and the guests probably wouldn't clear out until late - because the whole point of throwing a New Years party was to count down to the new year at midnight.

But _this_, Alec hadn't planned for. Everywhere he looked, people were kissing and laughing and wishing each other HAPPY NEW YEAR in loud voices, most having to yell over the thrumming music. It made the walls vibrate. Weren't there law codes about this sort of thing – putting restrictions on noise-making in private homes? Even if it was a holiday, Alec felt sure some of Magnus's neighbors were probably trying to sleep, and were less than appreciative of being kept awake by the vibration of the bass and the ruckus of the loud party.

Alec felt a hand on his shoulder and he flinched. See, his typical black clothing was as good as a stamp. It said: _I am a Shadowhunter. Approach at your own risk, Downworlder. Or better yet, keep your distance_. The colorful confetti in his hair and the corduroy pants must be confusing them; it didn't exactly say "don't mess with me." Alec growled before he could prevent it.

Whoever it was backed down as Alec's hand went for his belt, the light catching on his seraph blade.

By the angel, he wasn't going to kiss a stranger. He hadn't done much more than sample the sparkling wine Magnus offered; not nearly enough to be up for _that_. He couldn't say the same for the rest of the party-goers. Too many spirits were being passed around, in his opinion. Even Magnus had been drinking some acrid brew for the past few hours. Alec had smelled it on his breath every time Magnus leaned in, although it was mixed in with the citrus of his shampoo and the sweetness of his skin.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Alec had murmured against Magnus's shoulder around eleven thirty.

"I don't know the meaning of the word," Magnus had drawled, then silenced Alec with a kiss. Alec might have let it slide; Magnus's kisses were usually potent and hard to resist. The feel of his lips was nice, and the attention welcome. He would have liked to be alone with Magnus in his warm bedroom, as per every other night, and wish the rest of the crowd away. But Alec tasted that foul drink on Magnus's lips and tongue and he pulled away in distaste.

"Suit yourself," Magnus had said, with an insulted sniff. The warlock brought the rim of the long-stemmed glass to his painted lips and walked off, promptly swallowed by the crowd. It was the last he'd seen of him. Alec spent the following half-hour scanning the crowd, looking generally sulky, and checking his cell phone - in lieu of wearing a watch.

Someone bussed Alec's cheek before he could deflect it._ Damnit. Leave me the hell alone_!

Alec pulled back like he had been burned, hand going to his cheek in shock and indignation before swiping any trace of saliva away with the back of his scarred hand. He shot a glare at the retreating girl with purple hair, fresh flowers woven through the braids._ Cheeky faery_!

Why had ever agreed to come tonight? Why?

_For Magnus? Because he asked you how many times_?

No, it wasn't that simple. Isabelle had a date for the night. As usual, Alec didn't ask the details and she didn't provide them. Jace and Clary were going over to Jocelyn's. Luke promised that no one partied like a pack of werewolves, and while Alec had been invited, he wasn't really interested in being a wallflower at a loud party full of Downworlders.

The joke was on him. Being left alone, Magnus saw an opening and he pounced. He announced over Christmas dinner that he was throwing a New Years bash, and Alec had agreed to come. Alec denied it – laughing, then frowning, then glaring at everyone who was urging him to go.

"You should have fun. You do know what that means?"

"You can't spend New Years' alone."

"Magnus wants you there."

"I _need_ you there."

"See, you have to go or you'll be a shitty boyfriend."

Great. So if he didn't agree, Alec would be a boring, lonely, shitty boyfriend. Well, there was no choice. He couldn't tell Magnus he'd rather hang around the mostly-empty Institute all night and wait by the phone. His parents already had that covered, anyway. So he let Magnus drag him to this damned party.

Alec was _not_ having fun. He managed to feel incredibly lonely, even in a crowded room. And what's more, he'd lost sight of Magnus. Weren't they supposed to stick together? Even though Magnus was hosting the thing, he was the one who had insisted Alec come. Didn't he care that Alec was having a rotten time? Didn't he owe it to Alec, as a host and what's more, his boyfriend, to ensure that wasn't the case?

Would he notice if Alec up and left, rather than endure the indignity any longer?

No, he couldn't do that. Alec may be a wallflower, he may have antisocial tendencies when it came to public appearances, but he was _not _a drama queen or a coward. And so he had to stay, at least until he found Magnus.

Someone brushed his arm. Alec bared his teeth, seconds away from removing the blade from his belt. Magnus had made him promise to behave. But that was before all of his guests started invading his personal space.

"Happy New Year, Alec." His left hand was being clasped. A warlock whose name he couldn't remember was shaking his hand, perhaps sensing that anything more forward would be a really bad idea right now. Alec managed a stiff nod, and muttered "you too" under his breath.

_Way to go. Now all of his friends know how charming you are.  
_

Alec was relieved when the man moved on, kissing the next person he came across.

How could they do it? Why did they do it?

What was the relevance? Was this common? Even though he had seen the ball drop on TV before beside Jace and Isabelle, they had never celebrated the new year with kisses or a toast. No one was particularly enthused about it. They only watched the ball drop because they were awake anyway, although last year there was a disturbance close to Times Square and Isabelle had proposed trying to squeeze through the crowd and see it live after the job was done. But Alec had been too tired, and Jace didn't see the point. Instead, they'd gone out to eat and headed back to the Institute.

And where were his ambivalent friends now? Those like him who were staunchly against celebrating the New Year not so long ago?

_They've crossed over to the enemy camp, that's what. They've abandoned me_, Alec thought with a grimace. They're off celebrating having to buy a new calender, having to reorient themselves to writing 10 on paperwork instead of 09. It also meant missing out on sleep tonight, tomorrow, and possibly the night after that while people shot off all their leftover fireworks.

Alec didn't see the point. It was just another excuse for Magnus to throw a party. A themed party, no less. And Magnus had gone all out on this one, not only removing the doors and relocating most of the furntiture, but he'd also set up a disco ball which made the floor sparkle and the walls dance with spots of moving light. There were streamers and the few tables left behind in the loft were covered with glitter, party favors, and glasses of prefilled drinks. Instead of bringing in a band, Magnus had an outrageous entertainment center setup, with speakers almost as tall as Alec putting off the loud music. Alec could feel the vibration of it in his teeth.

The guest list included the usual: vampires, werewolves, fae, and warlocks. No mundanes, though. And no one turned into rodents or worse. Alec had noticed a Were passed out near the door with an overturned beer, but at least he was sleeping it off. How he could sleep in all this noise however was a mystery to Alec.

He could barely concentrate. It was giving him a headache. That and the smoke in the room. Several people had cigarettes in their hands and someone was smoking a really pungent cigar. In spite of the freezing weather outside, Alec wouldn't mind throwing open a window so at least he could breathe.

One hand resting against his forehead, trying to work out the fist-sized knot that had started to throb, Alec shoulder through the crowd, jostling people whose arms were wrapped around another, temporarily breaking off conversations as curious glances followed his progress across the room. Someone bumped into him without apologizing, but he was too distracted to care.

Where was Magnus, in all this chaos?

"Happy New Year," a voice chuckled against his ear.

"Shove off," Alec muttered in reply, jaw tightening.

"Touchy. Someone get the Nephilim a drink."

The sound of laughter followed him as he stalked away, trying to scan the crowd from beneath the heel of his hand.


	2. Witness

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Two**: Witness

* * *

"You're not leaving, are you?"

The warlock from earlier was blocking his way. He looked oddly disappointed by the possibility. Alec still couldn't remember his name.

"Thinking about it," Alec answered truthfully. "Have you seen Magnus?"

"Oh, he's here somewhere. He's hard to miss," the downworlder hummed. He winked at Alec, who scowled and looked away, still kneading his forehead.

Considering the way Magnus was dressed tonight, Alec would have agreed. Magnus has styled his hair in the usual spikes, only he had highlighted strips of hair with temporary dye, so some of the spikes were a vibrant purple, neon green, bright yellow, blinding orange, and electric blue. He looked like his party-favors: glittery, bright, and ostentatious. And _festive._ That sounded more like a word Magnus would have used.

As if to make up for his wild hair, Magnus's clothing was relatively subdued: black leather pants, a sparkling belt that was a splash of colors Alec couldn't even remember, and a black tank with some designer name printed on the front in simple lettering. But Magnus compensated with accessories, wearing multicolored bangles and colorful beads around his neck. Alec didn't understand why he was wearing a sleeveless shirt in December, even if they were indoors, but Magnus had reminded him that his body temperature ran hot and he was sure to be warm in the crush of people - and even warmer after tossing back a few drinks.

But his spiky, colored hair and bright bracelets didn't really set him so much apart from the rest of the company. Much of the company had vibrant hair in unnatural hues, clothes made out of shiny material and jewelry that glinted beneath the disco ball. Some of the Downworlders were even exceptionally tall like Magnus, so Alec couldn't even count on standing up on his tiptoes and singling him out above the rest.

And as for Magnus's smell, which Alec used to be able to pride himself on distinguishing even in a crowded room, the fact that other warlocks were present threw him off. He'd had to reluctantly admit months ago that some of that sweet scent that clung to Magnus's skin came from being a warlock, and was not something distinct to Magnus.

Biting his lip, Alec realized the man was still talking to him. He looked concerned, and he reached out a hesitant hand towards Alec. Alec flinched away from the unfamiliar touch, staring at the warlock's bright pink nails in suspicion. Were they all so flamboyant? Or was it just for occasion?

Apparently Alec was way underdressed, even though he went out on a limb with the pants.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine."

"Sure you don't want something to drink? Maybe a glass of water?"

Alec shook his head, turning away. His mouth was dry, but he didn't want to accept a drink from a stranger. Accepting the favor would mean he was obliged to hang around and talk with him, and Alec didn't feel like talking or drinking or loitering any longer than absolutely necessary.

Someone blew a noisemaker near his left ear and Alec turned his head sharply in that direction.

Inhuman gray eyes quickly looked away, and the Downworlder wielding the paper horn shuffled off, clearly not intent on pissing off a shadowhunter over a party-favor.

Great, now he had a headache _and _his ear was ringing.

Actually, the house phone was ringing. Alec was surprised Magnus hadn't left it off the hook. Or set it up to go straight to voice mail or something. In any case, it only rang three times. It went ignored, over the noise of the party.

"Excuse me," Alec said, shouldering past a pair of vampires. Their eyes trailed after him, exchanging sly smiles.

Squinting as he passed beneath the silver disco ball, Alec scanned the crowd again, looking for Magnus. It was a little easier to distinguish people now that the frenzy of hugging and kissing seemed to have passed. People were talking or taking seats or gravitating towards the endlessly-refreshed drink tables.

Someone brushed his lower back with their fingertips and Alec turned around, hand at his belt again, teeth clenched. He had had enough of the touchy-feely guests.

Before he could snap at the intrusion, Alec's narrowed eyes caught a flash of purple and green and black. A tall werewolf was leaning in to talk to a girl, and as he stooped, Alec clearly recognized Magnus's colored, spiky hair over his broad shoulder.

Alec was staring at the back of Magnus's head. Magnus still had that damned drink in his left hand, the glass almost empty now, a long-stemmed cigarette in the other. A long-fingered, pale hand appeared behind Magnus's neck, fingering the colorful beads, then disappeared again, flitting beneath Magnus's chin.

Alec leaned to one side, the damned werewolf was in the way again, blocking his view. By the time he led his date away, Magnus had turned as well, his face in profile. A boy with green hair and shimmering skin leaned in and kissed him full on the mouth, smiling as he did. Alec heard him wish Magnus "Happy New Year" in an attractive, rich voice.

Then Magnus was lifting his nearly drained glass in a toast and bringing it to his lips, playing it off like nothing outward had happened.

The fractured light of the disco ball danced across Alec's eyes for a moment, blinding him. He brought his hand back up to his forehead in protest, his headache back with a vengeance.

Alec blinked to clear his vision. When he looked up again, Magnus was looking back at him. The green-haired boy was walking away.

Magnus was standing very still, the empty glass poised gracefully in the air, as if magically waiting to be refilled.

Long moments passed as they stared across the room at one another. Alec could hear his heart beating, his breath wheezing, the sounds of the party fading.

Then someone passed in front of him and the present snapped back into motion. Alec shook his head as if to clear it, feeling the angry color finally registering in his face. With a sound that could have passed for a whimper - quickly covered by a curse, Alec's boot scraped across the floor and he spun away, shoving the people immediately behind him to the side. They snapped at the rough treatment but let him pass.


	3. Wrath

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Three: **Wrath

* * *

As Alec shoved and shouldered his way through the crowd, he kept seeing it, like one long, taunting slow-motion reel playing in his head - only this time he saw it in focus, as if he had been standing closer at the time. Alec could make out the dimples in the green-haired boy's cheeks, could see every tiny individual fleck of glitter glinting on his skin - tiny silver dots of light against his pale skin. He had silver hoops through his ears, and a delicate chain around his neck. The boy seemed fascinated by Magnus's chunky jewelry, his long, graceful fingers playing with the beads at the warlock's neck before he lowered his hand.

The boy's lips were moist and pink, untouched by makeup, and when he leaned in to kiss Magnus, they matched up perfectly with Magnus's painted lips.

This time when they kissed, the green-haired boy turned his head just enough to make sure Alec was watching, his inhuman gold eyes burning with mischief, mocking him. And then he smiled against Magnus's mouth.

Alec growled, shaking his head angrily to ward away the damned image. What did it matter what the boy looked like? Would he be any more happy about the situation if it had been an ugly boy? Or even a girl?

"Ow! Watch where you're going, kid!" Someone warned as Alec wrenched past them. Alec shot the man a look and kept walking.

Then he walked head-on into someone else, hands going up.

"What's the hurry?" A voice drawled, something that felt like fingernails brushing his side.

A damned phouka was blocking his way towards the door. Alec tried to give him his best _Don't Mess With Me _look, hoping to take care of this passively. But he would resort to violence if necessary, Alec wouldn't mind taking out his anger on someone, though preferably someone who deserved a beat-down. Not a fresh phouka.

"Right," the phouka chuckled, thankfully stepping aside and letting him pass.

A shrill laugh made Alec wince, but he weaved through the two women talking, only to be blocked off by a faery holding a tray of drinks.

Alec exhaled through his nose, impatient for the girl to move on. He didn't want to bowl past her while she was toting so much glass. That would be dangerous as well as rude. But she wasn't moving on. She was looking at him quizzically. Alec felt his blush growing worse.

"What?" he demanded, not keen on being assessed by a faery.

"Care for a cocktail?"

"No."

"I think you need one."

"I don't drink."

"You do now," she answered in a strange monotone, lifting one of the long-stemmed glasses from the tray and passing it over to him. Of course, there was the niggling worry - never accept any food or drink from a faery. But this wasn't the Seelie court and it smelled just like fruity alcohol. Unappealing, but relatively harmless.

Well, if ever there was a time to throw his usual rules out the window, it was now. Alec didn't care what the glass contained. He took it off her hands, scowled at the milky red liquid, then lifted it to his lips.

The girl with the tray was already walking away. She didn't stay to ensure he drank it.

Alec was debating. Up close, the smell was nauseating. It was half the reason he didn't drink, other than a repugnance for being inebriated.

He closed his eyes and lifted the glass another inch.

"Alec."

It was Magnus's voice, drawing close.

That made the decision for him. Alec tilted his head back and the glass in his hand, forcing it down.

Alec allowed himself a few seconds to swallow before he started breathing through his nose again. Then he coughed, feeling the burn. But it wasn't bad. It was very diluted alcohol. Oddly spicy, though.

Then he was walking again, setting the empty glass down on an end table as he passed.

The drunk werewolf was still sleeping near the door. Alec stepped carefully over his legs.

His cell phone started buzzing in his pocket. Probably one of his siblings calling to wish him a Happy New Year. It had only been, what, ten minutes since the ball dropped?

Maybe they had already gotten through their roomful of kisses and wishes for the New Year. But Alec couldn't pick up on that phone call right now.

He blinked away the moisture in his eyes. The alcohol made them water. And he swiped away the beginnings of a runny nose. It must have been the spices.

"Alec."

Alec ignored how close that voice was now, reaching for the latch on the door.

He tensed at the feel of a hand at the small of his back. Magnus's smell hit him all at once, a potent mix of sweet and citrus. Alec didn't turn around. He fumbled with the doorknob, throwing all of his weight against the door.

"What are you--"

"Leave me alone!" Alec snapped, releasing the door. He wasn't entirely convinced Magnus hadn't done something to keep it closed. It usually didn't stick like this. And he was really trying. The door didn't even rattle.

Alec shot a glare over his right shoulder. Magnus met that seething look with only the slight lift of his brows. Magnus had abandoned his empty glass, but he still had the cigarette in one hand, dangling lazily from his pointer and middle finger, putting off a thin stream of blue smoke.

"You've been drinking," Magnus noted. There was no disapproval in his tone. It sounded more like curiosity.

Alec didn't answer. There was no reason to clarify it had only been one drink, no reason to explain that watching Magnus kiss another boy had driven him to it. After all the times Magnus had tried to offer him a drink and Alec had refused, all it took was the hurtful sight of his boyfriend lip-locking with someone else - hoping to burn that image from his mind with rubbing alcohol mixed with acrid fruit.

It didn't help that that the "someone else" was flawless, absolutely beautiful. The green-haired boy was exactly the sort of person he would imagine Magnus kissing - not that he had ever hoped to have that mental image in his head, torturing him - aided by his natural insecurity.

Magnus's hand had made it to Alec's shoulder. Alec had been too distracted to notice. Now Alec tried to shrug it off, looking back up at Magnus with contempt.

"Alec..."

"Don't," Alec warned, expecting Magnus to come at him with his usual peace-making bag of tricks. Kisses, sweet words in his smokey drawl, his slender fingers and warm hands everywhere - framing his face, stroking his hair, arms slithering around Alec's waist. He wasn't going to give in this time. All of the past disagreements were petty and unimportant in comparison.

Alec wouldn't be diffused with sweetness.

Magnus's breath fanned Alec's forehead. Alec turned his cheek away, shrinking back against the door. His stomach was unsettled.

"Don't be mad, darling. It's a party--"

"Fuck you!" Alec hissed, both hands going up and shoving Magnus back. The rising sound of his voice hadn't drawn the attention of those around him, but that shove, that aggressive gesture which forced their host back a step, it earned a number of stares. At least twenty people standing around went silent, enthralled by the domestic dispute between warlock and shadowhunter.

Alec didn't care who saw, at least not initially. Magnus was about to say "it was just a kiss," wasn't he? He was about to deny that anything was wrong, that Alec was just overreacting.

Alec hadn't planned on snapping at him. He could have just left quietly and gone home to stew about it for the balance of the night, but Magnus chose to stop him. Magnus made the first move, forcing Alec to react.

If he was overreacting, it was only because Magnus forced him into it, after Alec had spent the last few hours being prodded and teased, pinched, and kissed and pushed by so many of the guests, he wanted to scream. Every one had been pushing and pushing, and finally, Alec had pushed back - pushed against the one person who could truly hurt him. The one person who_ had_ hurt him.

Magnus had regained his footing, straightening up. Magnus narrowed his eyes slightly, lifting the long-stemmed cigarette to his mouth. The warlock wrapped his lips around the end and inhaled, then released it in a steady stream through his nose. The blue smoke slightly obscured his face, but not the green-gold stare.

"Do you want to talk about this?" Magnus asked.

"I want to go home," Alec replied, petulant.

"Then why don't you?" Magnus asked, brow quirked.

Alec's face was burning again. It felt like the whole room was watching him, looking at him with mixed amusement and hostility. Somewhere in the crowd, the green-haired boy was probably watching him as well, thinking he was pathetic.

_Stupid shadowhunter. You don't belong here._

_You should go._

_Why don't you?_

Alec turned away, launching himself at the door again. This time when he tried to force it, the doorknob gave and he all but fell into the dark stairwell. Alec quickly fled the light and noise behind him, rushing down the stairs. He tripped over one of the steps, cursing and making a quick grab for the railing. Someone laughed up ahead, then the door to the flat slammed shut, leaving him alone in the stairwell.


	4. Wrenching

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Four: **Wrenching

* * *

The stairwell was cold. There was no point wasting the electricity on a dark passageway between apartments. Consequently, there was no heat in the stairwell and very little light. Alec shivered, realizing belatedly that he'd left his coat behind upstairs. Alec stood on the third to last step in his cotton shirt and ridiculous, corduroy pants, the cold cutting into him. At least he had worn thick boots. Small comfort.

Seeing his breath turn to smoke as he exhaled, Alec crossed his arms over his chest, slowly taking the last three steps down to the bottom. A fine tremor went down his back, although it had nothing to do with the cold. It was the aftermath of his anger, the shot of adrenaline he had felt upstairs when he lashed out at Magnus - the fight or flight response in full effect. He had fought his mini-battle; the flight part didn't come as naturally.

Alec wasn't ready to walk outside. For the most part, he just didn't want to walk out into the cold night unprotected. But hidden beneath his reluctance to greet the freezing January evening air, there was a small part of him that was unsure about leaving the party. He had never walked away from a fight - had never walked out on Magnus. They always made-up, often immediately after an argument. Magnus was too impatient to let it rest and Alec had a weakness for a repentant warlock, vying for forgiveness.

Only this time Magnus didn't seem especially repentant.

Why waste his time trying to console Alec, when he had a houseful of guests to entertain him?

_And by entertain, you mean kiss him?_

"Shut up!" Alec growled, kicking at the wall.

He hated the thought that Magnus might have just turned away from the door and walked back into the crowd with his lazy cigarette and an easy smile, to imagine he said something flippant like "boyfriends!" or "drama queen" to lighten the mood and excuse Alec's behavior. The party had obviously continued in his absence. The music was still blaring, the voices still carried throughout the building. The endless refreshments were being served, and Alec felt sure Magnus had returned to his company. He obviously wasn't pursuing Alec down the stairwell, making a sincere effort to try and talk with him.

_Well, you didn't exactly give him an opening..._

Alec scoffed. Why should he make it easy for Magnus? Magnus was the one at fault here - Magnus was the one who had been kissing some stranger of a boy. Even if he just let the green-haired boy kiss him, that was enough. He didn't object. He didn't pull away. And when he realized Alec was watching, he didn't even have the grace to look remorseful or upset. It didn't even occur to him that Alec might be hurt, having to watch it.

Alec had never kissed anyone, but Magnus. He hadn't wanted to kiss anyone since they became an item - and every day Jace became a faraway dream, a childhood crush he had happily released in view of what it was like to be in a real relationship with another man.

And Alec hadn't pretended to show any interest in anyone else - the point of being overtly hostile to many of Magnus's guests, when they tried to move in and take advantage of the holiday spirit.

Obviously Magnus didn't feel the same way. He didn't see anything wrong with kissing another boy, even in full view of all of his Downworlder friends.

And it wasn't just a kiss. It wasn't a brush of lips or even a bussing of a cheek. Their mouths melded. However briefly, however feather-lightly, Alec had seen it! It was a true kiss!

How could he do it? _How could he?_

Alec stormed through the door and out into the bitter cold of the street, feeling the freezing air biting at his cheeks. The wind was attacking the angry color in his face first. Alec shivered, swiping at the fast-numbing skin.

Surprised, he stared at the moisture on his fingertips. It wasn't just the wind tickling his face. There were tears there.

Frustrated, Alec lifted his arm and swiped the wetness from his cheeks, rubbing harshly against his closed eyelids, then swiping at his nose.

He wasn't going to cry over this. He didn't cry. No, these weren't tears at all. It was just the cold, the biting cold making his nose run and his eyes water. Damnit. He should have sucked it up and gone back for his coat.

No. He would rather suffer the cold than have to endure going back up those stairs and having to face that crowd. It was impossible.

Crossing his arms tightly over his chest again, back slouched so he was doubled over against the bone-chilling breeze, Alec started walking.


	5. Wrong

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Five: **Wrong

* * *

_Twenty-four hours previously:  
_

Alec had come over late, exhausted and nursing an injured arm. Magnus could smell the blood through the makeshift bandage and Alec's clothing, and he didn't let Alec get much further than the front door before stopping him, concern darkening his features. Alec mistook it for pain, reaching for Magnus's arm, wanting to know what bothered him - before Magnus intervened, reaching for Alec's arm instead, lifting it.

"What is this?"

"Just a scratch."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's nothing," Alec said dismissively, relieved that Magnus was all right.

"Yet you took the time to tape up a scratch. Mind if I look?"

"Please," Alec invited, carefully removing his coat. Then he rolled up the sleeve of his sweater, allowing Magnus access to the white wrapping.

Magnus's nostrils flared. He removed the bandages without touching them. Alec assumed they'd been transported to a bin somewhere. Or maybe the floor.

"How much worse was it before you used the_ iratze_?" Magnus asked, noticing the fading mark. His tone was displeased and disapproving. While Alec had tried to impress upon the warlock that this was a perfectly harmless, natural way for shadowhunters to heal themselves - and it had worked just fine for Alec in the years before Magnus came along, Magnus kept insisting he would rather Alec let him heal any wound - especially since it didn't leave a mark. Of course, Alec argued that he had so many scars, what was one more? It didn't matter. But Magnus was unwilling to concede the point. If it was something Alec could wait on, he wanted to do the job.

"It looks worse than it is," Alec reassured, although he kind of liked a worried Magnus, especially when there was nothing to worry about. It showed that Magnus cared and he was concerned for Alec's health, however superficial the wound. Magnus's forehead was creased with thin lines as he frowned, and Alec reached out with his other hand, thumb gently caressing one of the creases.

"It's fine. I saved the rest for you because I know how you love playing doctor," Alec tried to joke.

Finally a playful smile softened Magnus's mouth and he replied: "I knew it. Come here."

Alec was laughing at Magnus's growl, linking both his injured and uninjured arm loosely around the warlock. They were walking backwards and kissing, Alec tugging at Magnus's impossibly tight clothing while Magnus slid his fingers through Alec's unruly hair.

Neither one of them remembered the wound until they'd made it to bed. Alec was curling up with Magnus, the absence of clothing making it a little chilly in the room, in spite of the insulation of Magnus's comforter. As he snuggled up against Magnus's warm chest, Magnus touched his fingertips to Alec's forearm. The hot tingles shot up Alec's arm, threads of energy moving through him as the groove left by a claw burned as it faded. Alec trembled in pleasure, letting the shiver overtake him. And then it was gone. He was left clutching Magnus and sighing his name. Magnus kissed the newly healed skin, his vibrant hair falling into his eyes.

"You look like...like...I don't know," Alec laughed, touching the ends of one of the green strands of hair, wondering why Magnus felt the need to dye it for New Years. It was so pretty naturally, a shimmering black. Alec didn't even mind the glitter so much anymore, but this parade of color was more than he cared for. And the dyed strands felt rougher than the rest.

"Like a color palate?" Magnus inquired, kissing the soft crook of Alec's elbow. He knew that hidden fold of skin was especially sensitive.

"It's so bright."

"It is. I want to be festive for the party."

"You didn't have to change your hair to do that."

"I thought it'd be fun," Magnus explained with a shrug. "Wait til you see what I'm going to wear."

"Oh, no," Alec groaned, head falling back dramatically.

Magnus chuckled, sitting up. "What did you think of my rainbow leather pants?"

"Please, don't."

"Too much?"

"Won't it clash with your hair?"

"Good point. I'm impressed," he commended Alec, rubbing the shadowhunter's side. "My hair will be the centerpiece. So I guess I should tone down my clothes a little bit?"

"I'd appreciate it."

"I'm sure," Magnus drawled, mouth curving into a lazy smile. "What do you suggest, then?"

"Black?"

"Your favorite color."

"I think you look nice in black."

"Do I look hot?"

Alec nodded, glancing up at Magnus from beneath the weight of his dark lashes.

"Then black it is," Magnus purred, leaning in for another kiss. Alec slid his arms back around Magnus's neck, trying to draw Magnus down with him into the warmth of the sheets, murmuring his name. Magnus shivered, humming against Alec's mouth.

_- - -  
_

_Present:_

Alec was no less cold, no less miserable with the subway car rocking him. Sometimes the even rhythm was a comfort. Sometimes the constant noise and having to remain seated for a period of time encouraged him to relax.

How many mornings had he cradled a cup of coffee and thought back on the evening with Magnus while he rode the subway back to the Institute?

Alec's arms were still tightly crossed, preserving what little warmth he could. He longed for a cup of coffee and his coat.

Mundies were eying him strangely. The guy with the newspaper was peeking through it at him, the other man with the tattered gloves kept glancing his way as if suspicious of Alec's next move. Were the fading Marks so obvious in the harsh lighting? Was it the pants? Or was it the fact that he wasn't wearing a coat?

After all, who walks outside in this weather without a coat? Unless they've just crawled out from under a rock, or got off a plane from some sunny place and didn't realize what winter in New York would be like. Or maybe just someone who ran out of their warlock boyfriend's apartment in a hurry.

Alec should have considered using his stele. He wasn't in the mood to be eyed by curious mundanes. He had had enough of being ogled and mocked for one night - and if he saw another bright-haired Downworlder, he was going to reach for his blade.

_And that's not an overreaction? Calm down._

Alec was trying to remain calm. But he was shaking. Alec told himself it was just the cold; the cold had seeped beneath his prickling skin, and now his entire body was shaking. His teeth were chattering, but he clenched his jaw to put a stop to it.

As much as he had been in a hurry to leave the party, he was not looking forward to returning to the Institute. Questions awaited him there, concern. Or at the least other people in the holiday spirit wanting to tell him about their night.

The only solution was to head straight for his room and go to bed. Or feign sleep.

Alec was tired. And cold. It had been a while since he had slept in his own bed, though, and he didn't miss the narrow, too-stiff mattress or the cold room, the thin blanket that was never quite enough to keep him warm. It forced him to sleep fully dressed with socks, and curl up with his knees to his chest, and then he was tense in the morning - it took him half the work-out to release the tension in his muscles, to work out the knot in his lower back.

When he spent the night with Magnus, Alec was never cold, never tense. The bed was ridiculously roomy and even if Magnus didn't have the heat turned up, he put off so much natural body heat that Alec just had to curl up with him and be perfectly comfortable. Content.

As much as he was angry with what Magnus had done and the callous way Magnus had reacted, Alec couldn't help longing for that.

Twenty-four hours ago, they were sharing that roomy bed, and everything was OK. Alec was apprehensive about the party; he didn't want to go, but after reluctantly agreeing in front of the others, and remembering how happy it had made Magnus when he finally gave in, Alec couldn't possibly back out. For once, he was willing to make an appearance at his party, knowing full well he was going to be uncomfortable, that he wouldn't know anyone and he'd be heavily depending on Magnus for someone to talk to and pass the time with until midnight.

Alec had no idea it would end up like this. He would never have thought when the ball dropped, that everyone in the room would start kissing and embracing one another, and that Magnus would be no exception.

If he had known...well, what then? Would he have avoided coming? Would not having witnessed it made it any more bearable? Would he have tried to dissuade Magnus from attending his own party?

Would he have tried to force a promise that Magnus not participate in that part of it?

Would Magnus have even considered it?

Alec would have done it for him, without question. And that realization only made it worse. There were so many things Alec was willing to do for Magnus; so many things he had already done in the months that they had been together. By comparison, Magnus hadn't been forced to change much at all.

Alec had changed so much, just hoping to be interesting or even deserving to someone like Magnus.

Was it really so much to ask?


	6. Why

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Six: **Why

* * *

_Eighteen hours ago:_

"I've got to go," Alec objected, trying to retract his forearm.

But Magnus wouldn't let go. His hand was curled around Alec's arm, his cheek nuzzling the boy's palm, eyes closed like he was sleeping. But there was no way he was asleep. He chuckled at Alec's protest, leaving a warm kiss against Alec's hand, but he had no intention of releasing him.

"I'm already late," Alec stressed, trying to stay firm. Magnus was welcome to stay in bed and sleep most of the day away. Even though he was throwing a party tonight, what kind of preparations did he really have to make? Magnus could make things happen with a snap. Besides, Alec had been to one of the warlock's parties. Instead of putting things up, Magnus seemed to do more taking down than anything. Furniture disappeared, doors were removed, and the place was going to be a wreck. Alec didn't want to be around for that part, the destruction of Magnus's flat – even if it was only temporary.

Alec had to leave. He always woke early and headed out, commuting from Magnus's Williamsburg apartment to the Institute in Manhattan. He had to be there before or at least around the time when everyone else woke up. While they were accepting of Alec's relationship with Magnus, he wasn't big on bringing attention to it or letting their relationship be viewed as a hindrance in any way. Alec understood – and Magnus seemed to as well, that he would always be a shadowhunter. It was his job, his life – death was only way to retire, at least without being dishonored. It was what he did as much as who he was, and so it was crucial, while he might spend most nights (and occasional days) with Magnus, that he still be back in time for their workday to begin. No one was going to wait on him or crack jokes about Alec being reluctant to crawl out of a warlock's bed – not that there wasn't some truth to it.

It wasn't his reluctance keeping him in bed this morning, but Magnus's irritating insistence. He knew Alec had to go, and yet he was being so damned difficult.

"It's not late," Magnus disagreed, nuzzling Alec's hand. "Your cell hasn't buzzed."

"It will in twenty minutes. And I better not be here by then."

"Isabelle will understand."

"No, she won't. And if it's not her, it'll be Jace."

"Jace can go fu—"

"Magnus," Alec warned, the hand attached to the arm Magnus was holding curled into a fist.

"What?"

"Let me go."

Magnus sighed, opening his eyes. Those green-gold eyes looked up at Alec calmly, Magnus's long-fingered hand still wrapped around Alec's forearm, nearly spanning it.

"Please," Alec added.

"Are we never going to be able to sleep in? To stay curled up and warm after sunrise?"

"I have to leave by dawn. You know that."

"What about tomorrow?"

"What about it?"

"Are you going to stay the night tonight?"

"Yes…"

"The party won't break up until late. You're sleeping over. So you're really only going to let yourself sleep two, three hours tops?"

"It's fine. I'll catch up sleep later."

"Why wear yourself down?" Magnus asked, sitting up. "What is so important you have to be gone at the butt crack of dawn? What do you really have to do this early in the day?"

"You never know what's going to happen any given day. I have to be there for—"

"For what? To fill a chair at the breakfast table? To be Isabelle's sparring partner? What _is_ it?"

"I'm going," Alec answered, tugging harder on his own arm, forcing Magnus to release his wrist or hurt him by holding on. Magnus let go. Alec slid off the bed, stooping to retrieve his briefs.

"You never mention what you do during the day," Magnus spoke to Alec's back. Alec could feel those lazy, feline eyes watching him dress as he snapped the waistband and reached for his pants, stepping into them.

"Because it's a lot of routine and I doubt you'd be interested."

"Why?"

"Because it's not entertaining? We don't fight demons during the day, you're right. We clean, we train, we read. We wait to be sent somewhere. You get to sleep until late afternoon if you want to. You're not missing much."

"And yet you have to rush over there every morning."

"And that's nothing new. What is it, Magnus?" Alec asked, irritated. He jerked his sweater back on over his head, frowning before his face reappeared above the knit neckline, his dark hair a mess from bedhead, with static ends thrown in.

"You don't think I care what you do when you're not here?"

"I didn't say that."

"Just because I don't ask doesn't mean I'm not interested. I usually don't get the chance because I'm too tired when you leave to form two words together, and when you come back it's not the first thing on my mind."

Alec blushed, remembering last night. Magnus had been preoccupied with the wound on his arm. After that, well, there hadn't been any opportunity for talking for at least half an hour. By then, it was just soft murmuring in between nuzzling and kisses. This was the first time since Alec arrived last night that they had actually talked. But right now Alec simply didn't have the time.

"I'm sorry. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Later."

"Tonight is the party."

"I know."

"You are coming?"

"I said I would," Alec replied, sitting back down on the edge of the bed to pull his boots on.

"What if something comes up?"

"It might. But I'd hope you'd be understanding if it did. We all made plans tonight, but New Years parties come second to a call."

Rather than fire back another reply, Magnus was quiet. After the taxing back and forth with his boyfriend, Alec was on edge and irritable, but concerned all the same by the sudden silence. Alec paused on his second set of laces, glancing over one shoulder. Magnus was watching him, those soft frown lines back across his forehead.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No. What are you thinking?"

"I think I come second."

"Magnus," Alec snapped, getting up. He abandoned the laces on his right boot, throwing up his hands. "This is so stupid."

"Is it?"

"Yes. I've got to go, and you're being way too...." _ridiculous_. Alec shook his head, not wanting to say it. It would just make Magnus angry. But it was so true.

"What?"

"You know that's not true."

"Do I have a habit of saying things I don't mean?"

"No."

"Then why would I say as much if it wasn't true?"

"Because you're being ridiculous! You're mad at me because I have to leave – even though I do it every day, and you know why and you have no problem with it any other time – so why are you giving me the third degree about this right now? I'm not trying to hurt you. I don't _want_ to go. I _have_ to go. OK?"

"Fine," Magnus said coolly, rolling over onto his back.

The bright comforter slid down to his waist. Magnus folded his arms behind his head, his colorful hair fanning the tops of his arms, tickling the smooth, golden skin. Magnus stared up at the ceiling, the frown lines still there, his lips pursed. He didn't look happy. Alec knew he wasn't happy.

"Magnus."

"Run along, little shadowhunter. Wouldn't want you to be late," Magnus replied, his voice rich, but laced with acid. His sarcasm always hurt Alec. This morning was no exception.

Alec thought it was unfair. He was confused and hurt, not sure why Magnus was suddenly making an issue of his early departure. Didn't Alec make a point of breaking away as early as possible, every night? Injured or exhausted or unhappy – it didn't matter. Unfailingly, Alec made his way across the city to Magnus's door, stepping into his arms, sliding across his couch, or curling up with him in bed each time, trying to leave whatever happened that day behind, not wanting it to ruin their time together.

The only thing Alec asked in trade was that he be able to slip out early. Normally he did so quietly, not even disturbing Magnus from his dreams. Magnus would sigh sometimes in his sleep. On a rare occasion, he'd wake up and find Alec in the kitchen making coffee and flipping quickly through the_ Times_.

Recently, if Magnus sensed movement in the bed, he might even roll over before Alec had a chance to leave it, and throw a warm thigh across Alec's leg, stopping him. His clever fingers would crawl down Alec's chest. His mouth would find Alec's shoulder or his cheek and Alec would give up on his quick retreat and give into Magnus for a little while longer, forcing him to have to skip the coffee and the shower, and rush double time back to the Institute.

This morning, Magnus had tried to delay Alec with his kisses and his persuasive fingers, but Alec had slept later than usual, already throwing off his time line. There was no time to bargain with, even for the sake of making Magnus happy.

And so the resulting argument ensued. And now Alec – who always secretly regretted leaving, additionally felt guilty about it, while Magnus was oddly quiet and obviously unhappy.

Alec returned from the bathroom, meaning to kiss Magnus's cheek and say a quick 'I'm sorry,' but Magnus had rolled back over onto his stomach and was asleep. And so Alec quietly left, hoping to make amends later that night.

- - -

_Present:_

Alec's phone buzzed as he wearily took the steps up to the street, leaving the sounds of the subway behind him.

It was a text from Isabelle.

**h2ppy ne9 y3ar!!!!!**

A hasty text, obviously. Or she had one too many midnight cocktails and fumbled with the keypad on her cell. Alec frowned at the thought – thinking of Magnus and his long-stemmed glass. The drink, of course, reminded him of the _kiss_. And so by association, drinking was now the source of all evil.

And so he couldn't take Isabelle's intoxicated text with humor. He wasn't in the mood to reply, so Alec closed his phone and slid it back into his pocket.

Five minutes later, his phone buzzed again. Sniffing in the cold, Alec shoved a freezing hand back into his pocket, rubbing his forearm in a desperate bid for warmth before looking at the screen.

It was Jace this time. He had obviously received the same text from Isabelle, because his read:

**Your sister is drunk.**

Alec put the phone up, continued walking. He thought about it. Then, he retrieved the cell, sending Jace an answering text:

_Do you know where she is?_

Jace's reply flashed after minute.

**Yeah. She's fine, Alec.**

_How do you know?_

**Trust me.**

_Why can't you just tell me?_

**You don't trust me?**

Relunctantly: _I do._

**Then why are we still texting?**

_Please Jace_

**She's with friends. No one is going to take advantage. Go have fun.**

_Yeah, right. Fun_, Alec thought bitterly, returning the phone to his pocket. He glanced up at the Institute, seeing it through the glamor, quiet and dark and lonely.

It wasn't the place he liked to come home to. The fact that no one in his family was there, it made it even worse. It was nothing like the feeling Alec experienced whenever he stood outside Magnus's building, the hopeful rush of anticipation and relief after the drawn-out trip over.

_Finally, here._

_I'm with you. You're with me. I can rest._

Instead, Alec only felt the weight of what had happened as he walked up to the entrance, the cold biting, his hands shaking as they gripped his biceps, boots scraping across the worn pavement.

Alec wasn't due back here for another five hours, at least. Alec could have spent those five hours with Magnus, hoping the party would dissipate sooner than Magnus had foretold, hoping to be alone with him, but enduring the crowd as long as necessary.

Instead, Alec took the elevator up and walked down the abandoned hallways to his old room, opening the door to the small, air-conditioned space. There was his narrow bed, still made. No trace of Magnus's scent or Magnus's messes, or Magnus himself, waiting for Alec to come home.

Alec closed the door with a soft click, covering his mouth with his rough palm, swiping at his chapped lips, letting his head thud back against the wood.

I_ have to go._

_Then why don't you?_

_I don't want to go. I have to go._

_Fine._

_Please, Magnus._

Alec closed his eyes, shaking his head. _Enough for what night_! He would have given up half a night's sleep, if it meant spending it with Magnus. He wasn't going to lose sleep reliving the past day and wondering at which point he had messed it up - at what point it had gone so completely wrong.

Emotionally drained, Alec reached for the ends of his shirt, peeling the cotton away from his skin with aching fingers - the blood flow finally returning to them, as the room was marginally warmer from the open air outside. He set it down on the chair, removing the corduroy pants, draping them across the shirt.

Alec could still smell the smoke from the party on his skin, the incense and the cloying inhumanly sweet smell that had rubbed off from the majority of Downworlders at the party.

If he had had the energy, Alec would have taken a hot shower and washed it away. Maybe it would be a small comfort. But he didn't feel like waiting for the water to heat up, and then going through the motions of washing, and so he changed into a clean pair of pajamas - the feel of fabric so strange, at least at bedtime. He was so used to undressing before bed - a habit he had picked up from Magnus. Months ago, it would have been impossible. A mortifying thought. And yet it had become familiar, comfortable.

Tonight, Alec needed the extra layer for warmth, unwilling to climb into his old bed naked. This was his childhood room. These sheets weren't going to touch his bare skin. And no one was going to come into his room unexpectedly before dawn and find him undressed and unprepared.

Alec climbed into the small bed, drawing his legs up to preserve the meager body heat; unconsciously laying down on the left side, facing right. But instead of staring across the bed at his boyfriend, there was only the dark wall. The mattress ended within inches of his body.

The whoosh of the air conditioning was a constant background noise. The hall outside was quiet - the room, aside from the central air, utterly silent. No traffic outside, at least no noise that seeped through these thick walls. No creaking, no shifting. No sound of rhythmic, even breathing in the bed beside him. No soft murmuring.

Alec couldn't sleep, longing for the same things that so often kept him awake.


	7. Weary

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Seven: **Weary

* * *

_Five hours ago:_

"You made it," Magnus said, opening the door for him.

"I promised." Alec smiled tentatively, trying to get a feel for what kind of mood Magnus was in – he wasn't sure if Magnus was still angry or not about earlier.

The warlock didn't seem angry. But he wasn't smiling and offering Alec a kiss, which was their customary greeting. Alec's fingers twitched. He wasn't sure if he should reach for Magnus or let it slide.

Magnus stepped aside, leaving the door open for him.

Frowning, Alec followed him in, closing the door behind him. It was warmer in the flat, and so he started shrugging out of his coat, draping it across his arm while heading towards Magnus's bedroom, following Magnus's retreating back.

Magnus was wearing a black tank top and black pants, padding barefoot across the floor. Alec noted Magnus's toes were painted, a matt black. He'd already styled his hair for the evening, and te warlock's skin shimmered with glitter - so Alec assumed he'd also finished his cosmetic routine. But that's not to say he was done; as Alec returned to the bedroom, Magnus went over to the vanity, sliding colorful bracelets onto his wrist.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Alec offered.

"I'm good. I've got a crew bringing drinks and someone else setting up the music. Décor is done."

"Aren't your guests supposed to start arriving soon?" Alec asked, anxiously moistening his lower lip. This was the part that Alec was nervous apart – being here with Magnus was nothing to being here with Magnus and a crowd of his friends. Alec would feel less comfortable with every guest that arrived, overwhelmed by people he didn't know, people he really had no reason to talk to - not that he was big on talking.

"I don't expect anyone until ten."

"But your invitation clearly said eight o'clock."

"And according to Downworlder time – and allowing for dinner and after dinner-drinks, they probably won't start trickling in until 9:30 at the earliest."

"So late," Alec noted, although his voice gave away his relief.

"So that leaves us plenty of time to canoodle before the line starts forming."

"What line?"

"The line at the door. I've got a were standing in as a bouncer. Was that a yes?" Magnus asked, glancing up at Alec through the mirror. Magnus was fiddling with the chunky beads around his neck, arranging them.

"To what?"

"Are you even listening?"

"Yes, of course."

"Are you? Because you look half-asleep."

"Well, I am tired," Alec admitted, rubbing at his forehead.

"You don't have to stay."

"I promised I would."

"And what does that mean, if you're miserable?"

"I'm not—" Alec began, then slowly exhaled, trying to stay calm. After the way they had parted this morning, Alec really didn't want what time they had left together to be tense and unpleasant. "Magnus, please. I don't want to argue anymore."

"Who's arguing?"

"You're snapping at me."

"I didn't realize," Magnus replied, turning around to face Alec. His face was so...bland and emotionless. Magnus looked haughty and distant, the way he looked when he was talking to someone he didn't particularly like - like Jace. He didn't look at Alec like this, and Alec clutched his coat to his chest, looking away, feeling intensely uncomfortable.

"You can leave your coat on the bed," Magnus instructed.

"But I might need it. It's cold outside."

"I have no intention of letting you leave before dawn tomorrow, so it's not necessary, is it?"

"I guess not," Alec conceded, carefully laying it across Magnus's unmade bed.

- - -

Sleep wasn't coming. Alec tried to relax, to empty his mind of the thoughts that were keeping him awake. But it wasn't just a busy mind. His feet were cold and Alec wanted to stretch out and there simply was no room in this bed. The sheets weren't especially soft, and he sat up a number of times to punch the pillow.

Alec might have just fallen asleep - there were twenty minutes unaccounted for, when he was startled by a door slam. By the direction of the sound, he would say Isabelle's room. Well, at least she was all right. Angry, maybe, drunk, likely. But she was back, so everything was okay.

Eventually, Alec simply gave up on sleeping. He tossed the thin blanket back and climbed out of bed on stiff legs, rubbing his eyes on the way to the bathroom.

The hot shot shower helped a little bit, worked out sore muscles and a stiff back and it made him feel a little better. The fleeting warmth was nice.

Shaking as he walked back into the room, forced to leave his steamy sanctuary, Alec opened the wardrobe and looked for something thick to wear. In the absence of his coat, he needed _something _to keep him comfortable inside the air-conditioned Institute, something to cover his arms and chest.

His fingers brushed knitted material in the far corner. Unable to see what it was, Alec slid his hand up and pulled on the hanger, bringing it down.

It was one of his worn, black sweaters. Once a daily staple in his dress, Alec hadn't worn the sweater since he started seeing Magnus officially. It was one of the terms of their relationship - Magnus had asked him to retire the sweater - or actually, the three sweaters that looked almost exactly alike. Alec had agreed, but hid them in the wardrobe, unwilling to throw them out.

And now Alec was glad he didn't. Otherwise he'd freeze.

_And aren't the old rules null and void now? He broke the contract first! He kissed another boy._

_That's right_, Alec thought with a frown._ Damn him_.

Alec quickly removed the sweater from the hanger, shoving his arms through and dragging it over his head. Alec's hair popped with static electricity, but he patted it back down. Alec quickly changed into a pair of jeans, then sat down to pull on socks and step into his boots.

It was kind of surreal looking at himself in the mirror. Alec with his overworn sweater and wild hair; it was very reminiscent of Alec a few months ago, before he had let the fashion-conscious, appearance-obsessed warlock work on him.

-- Alec before he let Magnus rule his life.

_OK, now you're being overly dramatic._

_Am I?_ Alec silently asked his reflection. His cheeks were still flushed from the shower, but otherwise his face looked very pale. His eyes were bloodshot, tiny threads drawn across the corners of his eyes from lack of sleep. Absently, he rubbed at one closed lid.

Pulling himself away, Alec grabbed his stele and his keys and left the room.


	8. Wary

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Eight: **Wary

* * *

_Three hours til midnight:  
_

Nine o'clock. A few of the guests were trickling in, just as Magnus said. Alec, who had arrived early, felt completely justified in frowning at the disrespectful guests who clearly didn't know how to read an invitation.

"Downworlder time' was no excuse. Why set a time at all, unless you're asking everyone to be there by that time? It was a form of deadline. Alec didn't realize that it was optional, that you could filter in whenever you wanted without offending the host. He only thought it was rude and lazy.

Magnus left him to greet each of his guests. Maybe he knew it would only make Alec more uncomfortable, having to shake the hands or make conversation with people he didn't know. Maybe it didn't even occur to him to ask Alec to join him by the door.

Alec watched as the guests walked in, exchanged greetings with Magnus, and moved further into the flat. A number of the guests had worn flashy tiaras and colorful make-up, colorful clothes that Alec was hoping were just festive choices because it was a New Years' party and not that they came from their every day wear. But given that these people - these Downworlders were Magnus's friends, Alec was inclined to doubt.

The vampires were a little more somber in their dress. Some of the weres too. Leather and dark coats and heavy boots. Now, there was something Alec could relate to - and if they were allowed to show up like that, dressed casually in black, why was Alec wearing blue corduroy again? Shadowunters were easily recognizable by their clothing as well as their Marks. As uncomfortable as it might be, being readily identified as a shadowhunter in a roomful of Downworlders, Alec couldn't imagine feeling any more awkward or out of place than he already did. At least then he'd be comfortable in his own clothes.

It's not like Magnus had actually taken the time to compliment what he wore. That only made it worse. Alec folded his arms across his chest, listening to the sound of Magnus's laughter, watching him seem so happy and amused by these strangers. When was the last time in the past twenty-four hours he'd seemed half so happy to be around Alec? Magnus was irritated, or angry, or at best, aloof.

Alec wished he knew what it was; he wished he could think back to exactly when it had started - what had happened, what he might have done to piss Magnus off.

Was it anything he had done?

_You would remember doing something that bad._ What, then? What was bothering the warlock so much that he felt the need to shut Alec out? Magnus might be a little camp sometimes. The things he wore might even seem a little effeminate. But the one thing Alec enjoyed so much about him was that he was steady, even-tempered. Barring a really frustrating day or when his energy had been sapped and he was understandably cranky, Magnus was usually happy and light around him. He didn't have mood swings or male PMS. He wasn't a drama queen. And he wasn't mean, not with Alec. Magnus saved his biting sarcasm and could-care-less expression for everyone else.

Not Alec.

Alec shivered, wishing he'd kept his coat on.

* * *

_Present:_

Alec pushed the roughened sleeves of his sweater back so that he could wash his hands.

He was debating making a pot of coffee. Sometimes when he hadn't slept, coffee gave him a headache. But it might be worth it, if it kept him awake and alert. He couldn't afford to be tired this early in the morning.

Not having slept since yesterday morning, he should be hungry again. Alec hadn't eaten all night. But he didn't think he could stomach food right now.

Instead, he went for the coffee machine, filling up the water reservoir, going overboard with the coffee grounds. It was going to be very dark and bitter. But it always smelled better that way. Too diluted with water and not enough coffee was disgusting. So was too much sugar and cream.

"Ugh."

Alec glanced briefly over his shoulder. Isabelle looked even worse-for-wear than he did. Her hair was loose, a dark tangle against her shoulders, half-covering her face. She swiped it away in annoyance, dragging a chair loudly back across the floor before flopping down into the seat.

"Good morning," Alec greeted.

"I need the first cup," Isabelle said, resting her face in both palms.

"Sure."

"You don't usually make coffee," Isabelle noted, still cradling her face and hair. She probably had a massive headache from her drinking last night.

"No," Alec simply replied. He usually had his coffee at Magnus's, before leaving. But he wasn't ready to go into that. She could just assume he spent the night and everything was fine. At the moment, Alec preferred to pretend.

There was a pause, then Isabelle peeked through her hair and fingers, looking up at him. "And you're wearing that sweater."

"I was cold," Alec stiffly replied, opening the cabinet and reaching for a coffee mug.

"I thought Magnus made you burn them."

"He doesn't _make_ me do anything," Alec snapped, bringing the mug down against the counter with a dangerous clatter.

"Alec," she said softly after a moment, lowering her hands. He didn't want to look around and see the expression on her face.

"Don't," Alec asked, holding up a shaky hand. "I don't want to talk about it."

"OK."

Alec exhaled, relieved. Then he removed the pot, hearing the last few drops sizzle against the hot plate. Alec poured the coffee almost to the top, then slid it across the table, offering it to her black - just the way she liked it. He liked it that way too.

Before he could retract his hand, Isabelle placed hers over it.

"It might help to talk about it."

But Alec merely shook his head, slowly sliding his hand out from under hers.

"...whenever you're ready, that is," Isabelle added. Then she smiled a little, curling the fingers of her right hand around the hot mug. She didn't even flinch at the heat. They were probably all a little desensitized to it, having a penchant for drowning in hot coffee and habitually being burned. "If you want me to go over there with my whip, I will."

Alec looked up in surprise. Of course she would guess the source of the problem. It's not like he spent his time anywhere else but there and here, and there was nothing that bothered him at the Institute just now except for the air conditioning in the middle of winter.

"No. That's not necessary."

"Are you sure? It might be fun," she added with a snicker. "I've never whipped a warlock before."

"He might like it," Alec replied. It was an old joke between, but he sounded so glum when he said it, Isabelle frowned, leaning forward with her cup.

"What did he do?"

"Isabelle," Alec began, turning away from her, reaching up for another mug. "I don't want to-"

"I don't care," Isabelle replied. "I mean, I do care that you're hurt, but I want to know why."

"Izz--"

"No," she said, sounding petulant now. "I would tell you about my break-ups if there was anything worth telling. Plus, I know it'd just be weird for you having to find the right thing to say. But this is different. Tell me what he did."

"How do you know he did anything?" Alec replied in annoyance, filling his mug - trying to keep his hand from shaking. He set the pot back down and rubbed the ache in his temple.

"Because you're here, for one. Because you're wearing _that. _Because your eyes are red and you obviously haven't slept, and you look generally unhappy. More than usual."

"I hate holidays."

"You weren't sulking over Christmas."

"I'm not sulking now," Alec replied, frowning.

"Alec. Don't make me get my whip," she said, trying to sound fierce.

"You might have to," Alec replied, breathing over the top of his coffee, disrupting the steam.

Isabelle slammed her fist down against the table, making the mug and the surface of the table itself rattle. Alec looked up in concern.

"My head is splitting open and my tongue is swollen and I'm pretty sure I'm going to vomit after I finish this cup of coffee. Don't push me."

"Where were you last night?"

"At a party."

"Whose party?"

"You first. Tell me something."

"I left my coat at Magnus's. That's why I'm wearing the sweater."

Isabelle eyed him dubiously, but to be fair, she answered: "I was at the New Years party at Pandemonium. With Simon."

"The vampire?" Alec clarified, brows shooting up.

"No, the two-headed dwarf," Isabelle replied, rolling her eyes.

"Must have been fun to dance with," Alec quipped, managing a vague smile.

"Shut up. When did you leave Magnus's party?"

"Not long after midnight," Alec replied, swallowing and looking away.

"So you just stayed for the ball drop?"

Alec nodded.

"What did Magnus think of that?"

"He was busy."

"...?"

"Who was buying you drinks?" Alec asked, moving the coffee mug a little across the counter, watching the dark liquid ripple. "They card at mundane clubs."

"Simon."

"He's not much older than you. Technically."

"No, but he's fairly tall. I don't know. It was sweet."

"So he fed you drinks all night? That's not responsible."

"I just wanted to have a good time. Celebrate New Years like normal people, just once."

Alec winced, lowering his hand from his coffee mug. "What happened when the ball dropped?"

"What do you mean?"

"After the club counted down. What happened?"

"I don't know. It got really noisy and bright, and I stumbled into Simon." Isabelle laughed at the fuzzy memory, combing her fingers back through her snarled hair. "Cheeky bastard kissed me."

"Was everyone else kissing too?"

"I guess so. Why?"

Alec shrugged.

"Is that what happened at Magnus's party, too? Everyone started kissing at midnight?"

"Yeah. Kissing and hugging and making toasts."

"I guess it's customary, then." Isabelle laughed. "I hit him."

"What?"

"Simon. I smacked him for it. He looked so hurt, I kissed him again. Then shoved him away."

"Because that's not mixed signals in a nut shell."

"I was drunk."

"Your fault."

"I was having a good time. It was all fun and games until I left the club."

"And you're paying for it this morning."

"Thank you, judgmental ass hole. And how awesome was your evening, since you weren't drinking?"

Alec frowned, staring down at his coffee again. "I did drink."

"Seriously?"

"I had one glass."

"Bravo."

"It tasted awful."

"They usually do. It burned?"

Alec nodded.

"Did you drink at midnight?"

"A little after. Before I left."

"Why'd you leave?"

"Why'd you go with Simon?"

"He asked. I didn't want to spend the night with Jace and Clary, so I went. Your turn."

Alec looked up, staring vaguely in Isabelle's direction, but looking more at the wall. "I saw Magnus kissing another boy."

"When? At midnight?"

"Shortly after, yeah."

"Oh."

"That's it?" Alec asked, grimacing.

"Give me a minute."

"You force it out of me, and that's all you have to say?" Alec seethed, lip curling back.

"First off, you didn't have to tell me. Secondly, don't get mad at me because you're mad at _him. _Thirdly..." she paused, swallowing. Then she stood up abruptly, shoving back her chair again. Isabelle left the room quickly, rushing down the hall.

Alec sighed, staring at her empty place.


	9. Wound

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Nine: Wound  
**

* * *

"The silence is screaming at me," Jace finally interjected, glaring at the mirror.

Alec, leaning against the wall at the opposite end of the training room, had no ready reply. He wasn't really paying attention to Jace, any more than the uncomfortable silence in the room.

"Alec."

"What? What do you want me to do about it?" Alec finally replied in irritation, lifting his head.

"Say _something_."

"That qualifies as something." Then after a pause: "I don't feel like talking."

"Fine. Then let's work out."

Alec shrugged, unenthusiastic about the idea.

"I want to go for a run."

"I don't. It's freezing outside."

Jace sighed in frustration, letting his head fall forward against the glass with a dull thud. "I need to do something. I can't take much more of this standing around."

"Then go freeze on your run."

"I don't like working out alone."

"Where's Clary?" Alec asked, hoping to find an out in the form of Jace's girlfriend, the shadowhunter-in-training, not that she would be able to keep up with Jace in most areas.

"She's still in bed."

Alec gave him a disapproving look. Since when was that allowed? Sleeping late. Being chronically sleep-deprived was part of the job; making the most of it, and compensating with insane amounts of coffee, was just a rite of passage. This was not the time to get lax and start making exceptions.

"I thought it would be OK, to let her sleep in one day of the year," Jace replied.

Alec frowned, shaking his head.

"What?" Jace demanded,

"If Isabelle asks, she's sick."

"Why? I don't feel the need to lie."

Alec prickled with anger, running an annoyed hand through his hair. "Unless you want Isabellle to rush into Clary's room and pull her out of bed by her hair - and promptly throw up in her bathroom, then just do as I say. Sickness sounds better than laziness.

Jace's nostrils flared, his jaw tightening. He was angry now as well, offended by the accusation of laziness.

"Do you want to spar now?" Alec asked, brows raised.

"Gladly," Jace replied, pulling his t-shirt over his head and tossing it aside.

- - -

The latest wave of nauesea had passed. A very pale Isabelle moved slowly down the hall, a cold compress forced against his forehead. The training room was up ahead. Just a little longer.

She would suck it up. She had to. She was a shadowhunter.

Pulling gently on the door, it opened with a cliick.

"Enough!" Jace gasped, both arms going up protectively. Alec was up top of him, eyes flashing with fury. Isabelle had never seen Jace surrender. Then again, she'd never seen Alec look so...unhinged.

"Alec!" Isabelle called out, disturbed by the sight of her brother landing an extra punch after Jace had called off the fight. Alec's head jerked up at the sound of her voice. Isabelle sighed in relief, not sure if she'd be able to reach him. Jace took advantage of Alec's distraction and threw the other boy off, coming to his feet, exhaling in angry, shallow puffs.

"What the fuck was that?"

Alec shrugged one shoulder, breathing heavily. He climbed unsteadily to his feet.

"What the hell is your problem?" Jace demanded, shoving Alec once in the chest. Alec staggered back a step, but didn't reply, shoulders heaving.

"Jace," Isabelle warned, shaking her head. The blonde looked back at her, his face stained red, a bruise already forming along his jaw.

Alec stormed out of the training room without a word, letting the door slam behind him.

"Great," Isabelle sighed, feeling her stomach turn again.

"That was not my fault," Jace said, rubbing the ache in his jaw.

"No. It wasn't," Isabelle agreed. It was Magnus's. But she didn't say as much.

"Here," she said after a moment, offering Jace her cold pad.

He made a face like he wasn't going to take it. But then he reconsidered, pressing the compress to his jaw, wincing once at the extreme cold.

- - -

Alec stood beneath the hot spray of the water, still trying to regulate his racing heart beat

For the most part, he felt guilty about hurting Jace, for taking his own frustration and anger out on his parabatai. Jace had nothing to do with what happened yesterday and last night - he was just a convenient scapegoat, a physical punching bag serving as an outlet for the excess emotion.

The scary part was that it did feel good, at the time; lashing out at someone was just what he needed. Alec had gone through the upset, the self-condemnation, had already tried to blame himself for dropping the ball at some point, wondering if he'd missed something vital, or done something wrong. But Alec was angry now because he couldn't find a reason to justify what had happened - there was not justification for what Magnus did, the way Magnus had acted towards him in the last twenty-four hours, and that made for a very pissed off Alec.

He would never raise his fists to Magnus. That's not to say his face didn't flash before his eyes when he'd taken down Jace and thrown the final punch. He couldn't even hear Jace yelling at him to stop. The first thing he heard was a female voice, calling out his name. Isabelle was looking at him like he'd lost his mind.

Maybe he was losing it.

Grimacing, Alec turned around and let the water pound against his face, washing away the sticky feel of the sweat against his skin. Alec smoothed his palms back, pushing the water back through his hair, feeling it ricochet off his shoulders and trickle down his lower back.

The glass was fogged from humidity as he stepped out of the shower. Rather than wipe it off, Alec bypassed his own reflection, drying off and changing into a fresh pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, another sweater pulled over it.

Sitting down on the bed in order to tie his boots, Alec considered his next move. He needed to go back and get his coat. It was the only coat he had, and just walking around the Institute, he'd be so much more comfortable with another layer to combat the air conditioning.

It wasn't even midday. Magnus was sure to be asleep. Alec could put off the inevitable a little longer, wait until he'd had the chance to formulate exactly what he wanted to say before confronting the warlock. Right now, he wasn't sure. He just didn't want to talk to Magnus, and so going early would avoid the issue entirely.

The plan was simple. Go over there, let himself in, grab his coat, and return. Alec wouldn't be gone long at all, therefor there was no reason to interrupt Jace and Isabelle in order to explain. Instead, Alec grabbed his keys and his cell, sliding them into his back pockets. The stele dipped into the waistband of his jeans, tucked beneath the sweater.

Alec flicked off the bedroom light and locked the door behind him, headed out.


	10. Warlock

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Ten: Warlock  
**

* * *

Alec stood inside the foul-smelling entryway, cursing under his breath. The chill seeping through the shoddy front door left him shivering. He had forgotten how useless the old sweaters were in the way of insulation; too many porous holes for the wind to pass through, the cold blasting his chest through the layers of frayed wool and the cotton shirt he wore beneath.

Alec scowled at the row of metal call boxes. A moment ago, thinking about his lack of coat, Alec realized something else he had left behind last night in his rush to leave the party - his key to the door. So not only had he commuted from Manhattan to Brooklyn, frozen by the cold outside without the proper outwear, he now stood locked out of his boyfriend's apartment. How embarrassing and frustrating and inconvenient.

Alec was going to have to buzz Magnus's flat, something he really wasn't planning on. He didn't want to do it. But short of breaking the door, how else was he going to get inside in order to grab his coat?

Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.

Alec scowled at the only name inscribed on the wall, the metal nameplate mark Bane.

_You're going to wake him up. And if you do that, then it won't just be a quick grab and go mission. You're going to have to talk to him. Are you ready for that?_

No, he wasn't. He hadn't rehearsed what he was going to say - he had no idea what he would say or even feel as soon as he was in front of Magnus again. That part made him nervous, not knowing what to do or it he'd be able to pull back. _Because you did so well with Jace, just imagining Magnus's face._

Alec ducked his head, tucking his chin into his neck for a moment, eyes clenched shut. This is not happening. How easy would it have been if he'd just carried the key in his back pocket? Or even on his key ring, like all the others? Why would he keep the one key tucked inside the lining of his only coat?

_You know why._

Alec made a sound in his throat, shaking his head, not wanting to think about it.

_

* * *

_

Last summer:

"I have to go," Alec protested for the third time, fumbling blindly for the door knob.

But just like every other time, the words were barely out of his mouth before Magnus was lifting his head and stealing another kiss. These kisses weren't like the previous ones, the way they'd been kissing when they were still curled up on the couch, Magnus's long, sharp-edged body resting languidly above Alec's chest, legs stealing a place between Alec's thighs, their socked feet brushing. Other than the lack of shoes, they had been fully clothed, just kissing and touching, curious fingers skirting over shirts, bunching material, nails exploring, testing sensitive skin. Those kisses had been warm, and soft and teasing.

These kisses were impatient and persuasive and harder, a desperate plea, trying to convince the shadowhunter to stay a little longer. These were the greedy kisses of a man who knew what he was about, trying to persuade an untried teenager who had trouble thinking every time their mouths connected. It's like Alec's thoughts went into a vacuum and swirled around, but they were just immaterial specks that didn't make sense. He couldn't even talk when Magnus was kissing him; he didn't want to talk.

But Alec couldn't stay. It was getting late and he had to get back before anyone worried, before anyone wondered where he was. A half hour walk to clear his head sounded reasonable. Over an hour, still missing - and not even checking his cell, to boot, that would raise questions. No one knew he had left Manhattan. They definitely had no idea he was kissing Magnus Bane, or that the High Warlock of Brooklyn had been kissing him almost since the moment he walked through the door forty-five minutes ago.

Alec felt sure his mouth looked thoroughly abused, that his lips were probably flushed and swollen, if not from the nuzzling on the couch, than the crushing kisses he received when he tried to get up from the couch, or the next round when he had struggled into his jacket and repeated the warning, and now, at the front door, when he tried to stress to Magnus that he really, really needed to leave.

Magnus didn't look any different. His lips were fine; his lipstick wasn't even smudged. When he lifted his head, Magnus smiled down at Alec, looking confidant in his small victory.

"Magnus," Alec repeated, trying to be firm. But it came out too breathy. He wasn't used to calling the warlock by name.

_What, you can kiss him just fine, but just saying his name makes you nervous?_ Alec swallowed, glancing away.

"Yes, darling?"

"I'm serious. I've got to go," Alec repeated, turning around and reaching for the doorknob once more, his boot accidentally bumping into the door in his haste. Alec cringed at his clumsiness, face burning.

"What's the rush?" Magnus crooned in his low, rich voice, slender arms slithering around Alec's waist, trying to draw him back against Magnus's chest and hips, but Alec stood his ground, shaking his head.

"I told you, I can't stay. Please, don't make me feel bad about it."

There was a small pause. He could barely make out the sound of Magnus's breathing behind him. The warlock's arms stayed where they were, loosely hugging him. Eventually Magnus's fingers twitched, gently rubbing Alec's stomach. Alec closed his eyes in relief and pleasure, allowing himself to lean back a little into Magnus.

"That's fine, Alec. I'm glad you stopped by."

"Me too," Alec replied distractedly, grip on the doorknob loosening.

"You can come over anytime, you know," Magnus added, his voice stroking.

Alec nodded in a daze, murmuring 'mmmhhmmm' in his throat. He knew that probably wasn't the smartest idea; he recognized the many dangers in coming, the many reasons he shouldn't. But there was no harm in admitting that he'd like to, was there? Just giving Magnus a small something back for being so understanding this time.

"Soon?" Magnus asked, his lips suddenly brushing Alec's earlobe. Alec shivered, breath catching.

"I'll try," Alec managed, opening his eyes, tightening his fingers around the doorknob once more, preparing to turn it.

"Here," Magnus said. Alec turned his cheek, looking over his shoulder. Magnus had something in his hand, something small that flushed silver under the light. Magnus's hand reached out, palm sliding across Alec's chest and dipping inside the fold of his coat. Alec inhaled, but tried to keep still.

Then Magnus's arm was retreating, his other hand giving Alec's side a gentle squeeze.

Alec blinked in confusion, not sure what had just happened.

"It's my key."

"Oh," Alec lamely replied, realizing there was a new phantom weight against his chest, the tiny prick of the warlock's key through the material.

"So you can come up whenever you want. You don't have to wait to be buzzed in."

"Thanks."

"My pleasure," Magnus replied, his painted lips curving. It looked like Magnus wanted to kiss him again. Alec lowered his eyes, wanting that too. But it didn't happen.

Instead, Magnus closed the distance between them once more and left a warm, chaste kiss against Alec's cheek. Alec's eyelids fluttered, lashes tickling his cheeks as Magnus's warm lips lingered against his skin, breathing softly.

Then he felt the brush of Magnus's hand, fingers playing along the knit of his sweater. Alec shook once, reacting to the unexpected graze. Magnus's hand disappeared beneath the lapel of his coat once more, fingertips easing into the pocket itself, brushing the serrated edge of the key.

"Keep it right here," Magnus murmured, "where it's safe and warm."

Alec nodded that he would, opening his eyes again.

When Magnus drew back, Alec released his breath in a long, steady stream, feeling lightheaded.

"Good night, Alec."

"Good night," Alec parroted back, before shifting to grasp the knob. Twisting it once, Alec pulled the door open and stepped out into the cooler hallway, looking back once before descending the shadowy stairwell.

Magnus watched him go, one hand casually resting against the door frame, a lazy smile on his lips.


	11. Wordplay

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Eleven: Wordplay  
**

* * *

**Bane.**

Alec glared at the four-letter word, arms crossed over his chest, trying very hard to preserve what little body heat he had left.

That wasn't even Magnus's birth name. In fact, he'd never thought to ask Magnus what his real name was, or if he could even remember what he was called before people started addressing him by Magnus Bane.

Alec had gone so far as to look up the origins of the surname, wondering if there was some history to it, if maybe the Silent Brothers had some hidden meaning behind the name.

Indeed they had. Alec had discovered many negative connotations for the word "bane" in the library at the Institute. Firstly, in Old English "bana" literally meant slayer, in the sense of a killer or murderer. It is also generally referenced as a cause of death. By the fourteenth century the word bane came to refer to poison, and had been adapted since then in the naming of many poisons like henbane and wolfbane. But by the sixteenth century, the word bane had shifted from directly referring to poison and instead, referred to something that made life unpleasant; a curse, a plague, an annoyance.

At the time, Alec had gone back to Magnus feeling a rush of anger towards the Silent Brothers, irritated and personally offended that Magnus should have been given a last name that essentially labeled him a nuisance, at the very least - and at the very worst, a killer. How could they do that? And why would Magnus ever accept such an awful name? It was too cruel.

But Magnus had laughed. Actually _laughed_, like it was a secret joke - and he wasn't the least bit bothered. Taking Alec by the arms, he'd kissed the peeved shadowhunter and explained that he was over it. It didn't bother him at all. It was just a word, a name. It didn't mean anything to him.

When Alec shook his head and grimaced and said it wasn't true - they knew what they were doing, Magnus shrugged. When he refined his reply, Magnus's tone was oddly serious, his eyes looking off. "Maybe. But I am half-demon. And I killed my own parents. So, were they really so wrong?"

It had taken a while for Alec to let it go. It was irritating that Magnus was so accepting, so complacent about it. He knew the truth and he just let it roll off him like it didn't matter. Like it was no big deal to carry such an awful name like a curse. And yet Magnus did, extending his long-fingered hand and smiling at every new person he met, introducing himself as Magnus Bane without the slightest wince or shame, like he was almost proud of it.

Alec stared at the name plate now, feeling very different about it.

He felt stupid for ever defending Magnus. He must have looked so ridiculous, fighting his little battle, crying about the injustice of the cruel Silent Brothers while Magnus smiled patiently and shrugged, letting him rant.

Magnus was a grown man, so many times over. If he didn't like the damned name, if it didn't fascinate him in some way, he could have changed it. He was a master of his own future now. And no one made Magnus Bane do anything he didn't want to do.

No one.

Alec stood in front of the call box, still debating pressing the button - half-heartedly debating breaking the lock on the door, and probably breaking the automatic mechanism that opened it from the button upstairs. Oh, well. It's not like the warlock couldn't fix it at a snap, or with some clever spell.

But that would be rude and uncalled for, and in a way cowardly. It was petty vandalism.

No, Alec needed to face this. He wanted his coat, and this grimy button was the last thing standing in his way.

Grinding his teeth together, Alec lifted his hand and mashed the button in with his pointer, waiting for a response.

Nothing.

Alec waited in silence, huffing after ten seconds, scowling at thirty.

Alec pressed the button again, punching it two times in succession.

He remembered when Isabelle had abused the button that first time, pressing it several times before he could stop her. It was obnoxious and childish, but he was almost to the point of stooping to that level. What choice did he have, when the key was upstairs?

"What do you want?" A voice finally barked at him, over the crackling of the static.

Alec frowned at the call box, eyes narrowing. "Who is this?" Alec asked in irritation, his face heating up. The masculine voice definitely didn't belong to Magnus. He would have recognized Magnus's voice, even through the cheap, dying speaker.

"Who the fuck are you?" The voice replied, sounding annoyed.

_What?_ Alec's jaw clenched, and so did his fist, raising it up as if to punch the metal box. He didn't. His hand trembled, and he tried to breathe evenly, with control, but Alec was angry. Who the hell was up there, and where was Magnus? Once more, he debated breaking down the door, kicking it open with his boot and splintering the wood.

"I'm his boyfriend," Alec replied, voice low and almost growling. He winced around the word 'boyfriend', not really fond of using the term right now. But nothing had been settled between them. No matter what Magnus had done, Alec still had that much over everyone else; he had claim to that word first, and he waived it like a weapon, warning the person behind that box that they sure as hell better let him up or he was coming up on his own. Never mind the damned door.

Seconds passed, then there was an electronic buzz. The door unlocked.

Alec released his breath and turned to the door, shoving it open the rest of the way. He didn't pause on the stairwell, ascending quickly in the semi-darkness, his boots clumping on the creaking steps, unerringly finding his footing from one to the next. He had memorized the number of steps (twenty-two), knew which ones were weaker than the others (the first, the eighth, and the last four). He had come up these steps so many times - only the feeling he experienced when he reached the top was very different to what he was feeling now (residual anger, anxiety, irritation, fear).

Alec stopped outside the warlock's door. He wasn't going to knock. He assumed the door was unlocked - Magnus rarely locked this door, depending on the security of the entryway, if he was even concerned about that.

This door wasn't going to keep him out. It was only his own hesitation that made him pause.

Alec breathed in slowly, then let it out. Then he reached for the doorknob, twisting it open.


	12. Welcome

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Twelve: Welcome  
**

* * *

The door opened quickly, though not fast enough for Alec. Before it had even completed its full swing, Alec had already forced his way inside, chin raised, one hand poised at his hip, feet firmly planted. It was a grounded, defensive posture, prepared for battle - unwilling to back down, no matter what.

But there wasn't an adversary waiting for him on the other side of the door. There was no one to square off with, no penetrating stare to match. There was just the empty room, the litter left behind and the reminder of last night's party mocking him. Magnus's flat, abandoned.

Alec clamped down on the thread of irritation and tried to ignore his nerves. Instead, he focused on his surroundings, fairly sure whoever had answered his page hadn't jumped out of the window. Therefor they had to be in the flat somewhere.

Alec's head snapped up, distracted by the sound of the television blaring to life in the den. Jerking his head to the right, the flash of the screen caught Alec's eye. There was a low chuckle, the sound of movement on the other side of the couch. The cushions were being shifted, the combined weight of bodies in motion digging into the springs of the couch and causing them to creak in protest. Alec clenched his fist, silently advancing on the couple.

Alec's footfalls were muted, careful, not wanting to announce his presence until he was ready. When he reached the edge of the room, however, the floorboards groaned beneath Alec's boots. Silently cursing, Alec paused mid-step - and a dark head lifted up, blinking at the shadowhunter over the back of the couch.

"Shit," the werewolf muttered, apparently remembering Alec from last night. Alec wasn't sure how. The Downworlder had spent a majority of the party passed out, drunk. Maybe he just recognized the obvious details that spelled out 'shadowhunter' and after introducing himself as Magnus's boyfriend downstairs, well, it was adding up in his head. This was not a happy run-in.

"What are you doing here?" Alec asked, not sugar-coating the question in the least. His tone was hostile and he glared at the intruder with all the loathing and frustration he'd been pooling together since last night. There was enough of it to keep him going for a while.

"We crashed here last night." Before Alec could snarl at him, the werewolf added: "Is that illegal?"

"Does he know you're here?" Alec asked, motioning with his chin in the vague direction of Magnus's bedroom.

"Who do you think invited me?"

Alec's mouth tightened up, his left fist balling. "It's past noon."

"No wonder I'm starving."

"Get out."

"But he said--"

"You can blame it on me," Alec interrupted, fingers closing around the end of the small dagger. It was just a warning, a bluff really. He wasn't going to hurt the werewolf unless provoked. But the threat worked. The guy slid back on the couch, snatching up his cast-off shirt and shrugging into it. Grumbling under his breath, the were stood up, hands at the fly of his jeans, the girl shooting Alec an irritated, inconvenienced look. But her pissed expression was no match for his infuriated. Alec shifted his attention from the guy, who seemed to be getting ready to leave, to the girl, who wasn't making any progress whatsoever.

"Now," Alec clarified, eyes narrowing.

"I don't have a ride."

"Subway runs all day," Alec added in an unsympathetic monotone. He remained where he was as the girl finally started reaching for her clothes, getting dressed with jerky, angry movements.

The werewolf walked along the very edge of the apartment to get to the door, hugging the walls The girl joined him a minute later, though she walked directly towards Alec, shooting him another glare before passing. Alec barely registered it, waiting in his stiff stance for the door to open and shut again.

Then Alec moved, following after them in order to flip the latch and lock the door.

Why did he send them away? Just to be an ass, partly. It gave him some satisfaction to chase away Magnus's guests, knowing they were nursing a hangover and probably waiting to be fed. They could get their meal ticket somewhere else. There had to be other obliging couches somewhere in the five burroughs.

Besides, these people he didn't know, these Downworlder friends Magnus didn't even mention on a daily basis, they had spent the entire evening with Magnus. They had stolen his attention, trashed his apartment, made trouble and could care less. What were they, mooching acquaintances, at best? Why did Magnus want to hang out with people like that?

If not for the damned party and all of the unfamiliar people that crowded it, Alec's New Year might have been nice. His day, despite the rough beginning, might have been salvageable.

Instead, it was a bitter start to the New Year, and Alec didn't want to be reminded of the fucking party any more.

It was over before the sun was up. It was time for them leave anyway. At least in the emptiness, the quiet of the open space, there was some sense of normalcy.

Let Magnus sleep in, sleep off the poison of the alcohol in his system. Let him have falsely happy dreams while Alec spent the remainder of the day frustrated, angry, and lashing out at everyone else.

_You could always wake him up. Storm into his bedroom, snap at him from the doorway and let him know exactly what it feels like._

No. Alec had been prepared to deal with the freeloaders. And Jace would forgive him for taking the sparring match too far. But he wasn't ready to square off with Magnus yet. He wanted to bring more to the table than just raw emotion. In fact, if he could just leave the emotion behind and calmly tell Magnus exactly what he'd done wrong and why it was a problem -- but he couldn't do that, because there was no separating what Magnus had done from how it made Alec feel. That was the crux of it. That was the worst of it.

He felt too much. It made him feel stupid, the range of manic emotions he'd run through in the course of a day, with almost no control over them and no skill for hiding it. It wasn't usually like this. Their relationship wasn't about the highs and lows, the petty arguments and the silent treatment. Clary and Jace, they were the volatile couple. Isabelle seemed to enjoy arguments like a good work-out, which might explain why her dates were so short-lived.

They weren't perfect, either. It was just...different.

_What are you doing? Grab your coat and get out. You can sulk about it once you're back at the Institute._

He wasn't sulking. Alec frowned, scraping the heel of his boot across the carpet.

_Stop stalling, then._

Scowling, Alec stalked over to the small closet near the front door, jerking it open. Rummaging through the few coats (some of which he suspected were forgotten last night), Alec shoved the hangers along the rack until he got to the other side of the closet. His coat wasn't there.

Wait. He clearly remembered taking it off when he came through the door. Hadn't Magnus insisted that he remove his coat?

No, not at the door. Alec had walked inside with the coat draped. Where did it go? Where did he leave it?

_"You can leave your coat on the bed_."

_"But I might need it. It's cold outside."_

_"I have no intention of letting you leave before dawn tomorrow, so it's not necessary, is it?"_

_"I guess not_."

**Damn it!**

Alec's coat was somewhere in Magnus's room. He wasn't going to be able to retrieve it, without walking right into the lion's den.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

Biting his lip, Alec considered his options for a moment, then clenched his fists. He wasn't going all the way back to Manhattan without his coat and his key. He had already been subjected to the biting cold last night, as well as this morning. There was no need for that, when his coat was being held hostage in the warlock's room. It was so close.

Tightening his jaw with determination, Alec shut the door to the coat closet, then headed back towards Magnus's bedroom, trying to be quiet.

So what if Alec woke him up? He could still snatch his coat and leave, slam the door behind him and rush down the stairs. He didn't want to talk to Magnus right now, and he didn't have to - not that Magnus was usually much for talking this early in the day. Maybe he'd get lucky and Magnus would simply grunt and roll over.

Stealing a deep, fortifying breath, Alec turned the knob to the door, slowly, carefully easing it open.

It was dark in the room. The heavy curtains were pulled closed, no lights left on last night. But there was still the light from the hallway, allowing Alec to see inside. His eyes quickly panned the vanity, the chair, the floor. His eyes traveled along the edge of the bed, the expanse of the comforter which was haphazardly bunched and twisted around a bare leg, a slender arm stretched across the mattress and peeking out from beneath the canary-yellow material.

Alec's eyes continued upward, narrowing. He could see Magnus's dark hair against the pillow, his skin sparkling as the light from the hallway hit it.

Alec's jaw dropped when he saw another figure, a dark figure curled up against the warlock's chest. Squeezing his fingernails into the soft skin of his palm, Alec eased his torso inside the doorway, trying to get a better look.

The dark outline ran the length of Magnus's side, at least to his bent knee. As Alec watched, Magnus nuzzled up against his companion, breathing lightly, sleeping peacefully.

Then Alec's eyes widened, realizing his hasty mistake. He had misjudged the figure entirely. It wasn't a person at all that Magnus was cradling; it wasn't a dark frame that lay flush against Magnus's naked body, tucked beneath the warlock's chin.

It was Alec's coat.


	13. Wait

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Thirteen: Wait  
**

* * *

Alec stared in disbelief at the sight of Magnus nuzzling his coat. Had he fallen asleep with it? Did he not even realize it was there until he rolled over and decided it smelled nice, and Magnus chose to curl up with it in Alec's stead?

Alec was not going to be swayed by the visual. No. He wasn't. He wasn't going to let the sight of Magnus with his arm around the coat deter him from his anger, his sense of betrayal - no, he'd come all this way to pick up that coat, so Alec wouldn't have to suffer in the cold anymore in his inadequate sweater. Alec wasn't leaving now without it.

So it was just a question of how he was going to reclaim it. He could go for subtle. Knock on the surface of the open door and startle Magnus awake. He could go for gentle: sit down on the edge of the bed and reach out to press Magnus's knee beneath the comforter, wake him up and quietly ask for his coat.

But Magnus didn't deserve subtle or gentle. Magnus hadn't shown him that sort of consideration.

Alec wasn't going to cave. He couldn't pretend nothing had happened and reward Magnus just because what he was doing looked sweet. It wasn't even a conscious gesture. Magnus probably wasn't even aware of what he was doing, hugging Alec's coat like it was a real person in bed with him, nuzzling up against the wrinkled sleeve.

So that left the impulse decision. Alec wanted to reclaim his coat, in the easiest, most expediant manner possible. Looking down at the end of the coat, staring at his goal with determination, Alec walked into the bedroom, following the spotlit path drawn from the doorway to the bed. Reaching out, he snatched the end of the material and pulled hard on the coat, hearing with satisfaction the wrench of the material whipping fast across the sheets, the comforter disturbed, flipped back slightly from the warlock's calf.

Alec jerked the freed article of clothing off the edge of the mattress, holding it close to him. With irritation, he noticed the flecks of silver glitter on the collar, obviously rubbed off from Magnus's face. Grimacing, Alec swiped at and swatted it from the dark fabric with the side of his palm, cleaning it off.

After he was satisfied that the glitter was gone, Alec lifted his eyes to the bed. Magnus was silently watching him. Alec sucked in a breath, warmth invading his cheeks at that unrelenting stare.

"Jealous?" Magnus asked in a low, raspy voice.

"What?" Alec replied, eyes going wide. The angry color intensified.

_The coat, he means the coat_, Alec reminded himself. Magnus was trying to tease him. But that's not how Alec took it. Suddenly he wasn't thinking of the coat at all, the endearing nuzzling, the sight of Magnus sleeping with his clothes as a comfort. No, he wasn't thinking of this morning and this room - but last night and that kiss.

The green-haired boy had presssed his hand to the back of Magnus's neck, playing with his beads. He'd leaned up and kissed Magnus's mouth, pursing against the soft flesh and smiling. Then he faded out of view and Magnus was smiling around the rim of his glass, before his eyes slowly flickered over to where Alec was standing, watching, staring, stunned.

Alec's hands tightened on the coat, nails digging into the fabric. He felt nauseated all over again, glancing back at Magnus on the bed with a look of disgust, his eyes flashing with hurt. Magnus was sitting up, brows drawing together in a frowling line. Alec turned around and kicked the door out of his way.

"Alec--" he heard Magnus calling from behind him, the rustling of the bedding. Alec kept walking, listening to the sound of Magnus cursing down the hall. Alec shrugged into the coat, struggling with one of the sleeves. Damnit. Looking down at it, he had to shove the sleeve backwards, right side out, and then force his arm through.

He felt the small silver key dig into his chest. Scowling, Alec slid his hand inside the hidden pocket and removed it.

"Don't go," Magnus said from behind him. Alec scoffed and turned around, palm slamming the key down on the small table near the door.

Magnus's eyes followed what he was doing, realizing what it was a moment later when Alec slid his hand away.

"What is this?" Magnus asked, gesturing to the key in disbelief.

"I don't want it."

"You don't think this is an overreaction?"

"No, I don't," Alec growled, buttoning up in his coat hurriedly. His hands were shaking, making it somewhat difficult to manage. Magnus was watching his poor progress, taking a step closer to him. Alec flinched away, hand going up defensively.

"Don't touch me!" he hissed, glaring at Magnus. Magnus froze midstep, his arm raised. His brows knit again, scrutinizing Alec's face. Then Magnus let his hand fall limply to his side. The warlock must have hastily pulled on the pair of pants. They weren't buttoned, but a snug enough fit to cling to his hips. It looked like the same black pants from last night.

"Don't go," Magnus repeated, softer now.

Alec shook his head resolutely, backing away.

"Don't I get a chance to say anything?"

"No," Alec replied unfairly, his voice forceful. Shaking his head again, Alec turned away. He couldn't stay and listen. If he did, Alec just knew what was going to happen. Magnus would plead, he'd try to reach for him and soothe him with kisses. He'd try to make it better - no, more than that, Magnus would try to erase the pain and the anger like it had never been there. Either that, or he'd point out all the ways in which Alec was overreacting; make him feel stupid for blowing all this out of proportion. On that grounds, he'd still try to convince Alec to calm down and let it go.

Alec didn't want to let it go so easily, not before Magnus truly understood what he had done, before he even had the chance to pay for being so selfish and cruel. What reassurance would he have that it wouldn't happen again? Why wouldn't Magnus do it again, if he hadn't even acknowledged having done anything wrong?

"You ran away from me last night," Magnus pointed out, moving closer. "How can I fix this if you dip out again?"

"You wouldn't have to fix anything if--" Alec shook his head, frustrated with himself. He wasn't going to go into this. He didn't want to talk about it. If he tried to get into it right now, he was sure he'd lash out at the warlock. Besides, Magnus knew exactly what he had done, how he had behaved. It wasn't just the kiss. The kiss was the last thing. The most hurtful. "No, I'm not doing this," Alec muttered, quickly moving to the door.

"Alec," Magnus called, his voice firm. Ignoring it and the anxious prickle of nerves in the back of his neck, Alec continued to reach for the door. When the knob turned but the door didn't open, Alec made a frustrated noise that sounded like a growl mixed with a scoff. The lock wasn't turned, the door should open.

"What are you doing?" Alec demanded, turning on Magnus.

"We need to talk," the warlock simply replied, not embarrassed in the least. He stood his ground, folding his arms stubbornly across his bare, glittering chest.


	14. WTF

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Fourteen: WTF  
**

* * *

"Open the door," Alec demanded, clenching his jaw.

"What's the magic word?"

"Fuck you!" Alec lashed out, turning around and hitting the door with his fist, as if knocking. He reached for the knob again, met by the same inexplicable resistance.

"Sorry. That's incorrect."

"Stop playing around, Magnus, and open up the damned door," Alec growled, turning on him again. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't feel like talking to you. I just came for my coat, and now I want to leave."

"Really? That was your plan all along?"

Alec glared at him.

"You really came all this way to get your coat?"

"I was cold," Alec fired back, although it sounded more pathetic than defensive.

"You left in a rush last night," Magnus pointed out.

Alec wasn't taking the bait. If Magnus was going to hold him hostage in this building, then at least he still had a choice in talking to him. Alec crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest, turning his cheek away and looking at the wall.

"You didn't think you'd run into me when you came over?"

Again, Alec held back his reply, although he silently added that yes, he had hoped to avoid Magnus. But of course it didn't work out that way.

"I missed you. Your coat smells like you, and it was warm."

"Stop it."

"What? I can't tell you why I was canoodling with your coat? Why I foiled your plan for a quick escape?"

"Shut up."

"Are you mad at me because I made out with your coat in my sleep--"

"No!" Alec bit back, losing the battle in ignoring the warlock. "I'm mad at you because you made out with that boy last night!"

"Made out with him--" Magnus repeated in confusion, brows drawn. But Alec cut him off again.

"You kissed him!"

"He kissed me."

"You _let_ him and then you _smiled_!"

"What should I have done? Shoved him away?"

Alec scoffed. "Maybe. Or act like you didn't like it, at least."

"I didn't mind."

Alec made a sound of frustration/hurt, turning wide eyes on Magnus. "What?"

"It wasn't bad."

"Open the fucking door," Alec demanded once more, turning around and wrenching painfully at the door knob. But it still wouldn't budge. If Magnus didn't lift the spell right now, he was going to start kicking at the door.

"Alec..."

"I want to go," Alec said, his voice uneven. His face flushed unpleasantly, and the shadowhunter threw his weight into the door like that might honestly help his cause. It didn't.

"It was New Years Eve. Everyone exchanges kisses and hugs and glasses of champagne after the ball drops. It's tradition," Magnus explained, clearly unashamed and unapologetic in his behavior.

"He wasn't wishing you Happy New Year," Alec growled, ramming his knee into the door. There was a jolt of bruising pain that shot up his thigh, but it was bearable. He didn't want to turn around and look at Magnus.

"It was just one kiss. I didn't even kiss back."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Open the door," Alec said, trying to sound firm and keep his voice from shaking.

"I don't even know his name."

"I don't care!" Alec cried out, slamming his palm into the door. "He saw me watching you before you did. And he kissed you. You smiled after you kissed him, and you didn't even care that I was watching," Alec went on, forcing his hand against the door in irritation. It was useless. "I didn't let anyone touch me."

"I know. I had to apologize to a number of people for you."

"For me?"

"Yes. You were incredibly rude to everyone that made an effort to talk to you. Believe me, I spent the rest of the night hearing about it."

"It's my problem because I didn't let any of your friends kiss me?"

"You didn't have to kiss them, Alec. Common politeness would have worked. And a hug or two wouldn't have hurt you."

"I didn't know any of those people."

"Did you try to get to know them?"

"You mean like you did?" Alec replied, turning back around to face Magnus, his hand throbbing.

"No, that's not what I meant," Magnus replied, lowering his lashes for a moment.

"I tried for you. I came here for you, and you didn't even seem to want me around," Alec accused, brows drawn.

"You didn't try, Alec."

"I was here for hours!"

"Looking miserable and ignoring everyone that tried to talk to you."

"You left me!"

"I was the host. What did you expect me to do? Stand by and be a wallflower with you?"

"You could have acknowledged that I was even here, instead of forcing drink after drink down your throat and kissing strangers."

"We already covered that."

"Then how about this," Alec said, taking an aggressive step forward as the point occurred to him. "Why didn't you seek me out after the count down? Why wasn't I the first person you tried to kiss?"

"I looked for you in the crowd."

"Did you? You weren't looking very hard. _I _was looking for _you."_

Magnus was silent for a moment, frowning.

"I just wanted to be with you," Alec said, running an agitated hand through his hair.

"Then why did you run away--"

"Not after _that,_" Alec replied, fist clenching. "I didn't even want to look at you after I saw you kiss him."

"We could have resolved this last night."

"Yeah, right, with all your friends right there and that green-haired boy watching on and taking satisfaction in what a manic boyfriend you have? I would have looked pathetic."

"So instead you made a scene and snapped at me in front of everyone and ran off?"

"I wanted to go," Alec replied, looking away.

"Yeah, I got that. So I let you go."

"I want to go now," Alec reminded, although it wasn't as urgent as the last few times.

"I wish you wouldn't."

"Do I have a choice now? Will you unlock the door if I ask nicely?"

"If that's what you really want?"

Alec lifted his chin, looking back up at Magnus. "Didn't you see my face last night? You looked right at me."

"I did."

"What were you thinking?"

"I wanted to throw up. I could barely stand, I was so trashed--"

"So it's the alcohol's fault now?" Alec scoffed.

"It was potent stuff."

"I asked you to stop."

"I should have listened."

"Yes, you should have," Alec agreed, looking down at his boots.

"I'm sorry."

"That's not enough."

"I knew you were miserable. I did see you," Magnus pointed out, taking a tentative step closer. Alec took in a breath, wanting to take a step back, but unwilling to lose his ground.

"Then why--"

"I didn't know what to do. I was the one who insisted you come, and I didn't know how to make it better for you without sending everyone away. And I couldn't do that."

"Then why didn't you try to talk to me, or ask me over? Something?"

"My attention was torn in twenty different directions, like I said."

Alec shook his head, not satisfied with this answer.

"You don't believe me?"

"I don't know."

"I wanted to spend time with you."

"Funny. I didn't get that impression."

Magnus's eyes flashed in anger, his soft expression dissipating. "Didn't I ask you to stay yesterday? Didn't I plead with you to sleep in and spend some more time with me?"

"I couldn't stay."

"No. You always leave me early."

"And I come back every night. What is this?"

"I'm trying to make a point. I get that you're angry about that kiss. But you can't say I don't want to be with you, that being distracted at a party is proof that I want to throw you over."

"Isn't it? You haven't called me once."

"The party didn't clear out until late, and I was exhausted."

"I didn't sleep at all last night," Alec defended.

"You could have called me."

"Why should I have had to be the one to do that?"

"It would have been nice. You can't be angry at me _and _refuse to talk to me."

Alec frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's one of the reasons I like seeing other men. You get to eliminate all those catty games women play. Or so I thought."

Alec glared at the warlock. "Are you calling me catty?"

"Well. I think you're being childish, at the least."

Alec turned around and punched the door again, registering the pain, but not making a sound to acknwoledge it. "Open this door! RIGHT NOW!"


	15. Walk

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Fifteen: Walk  
**

* * *

"I can't do that until we talk."

"And that's not childish?" Alec demanded, gesturing to the door angrily, face heating up. "You're holding me hostage in your apartment until I cave."

"I just want you to hear me out."

"No! You want me to forgive you, and I'm not ready to do that, Magnus!"

Sadness flickered across Magnus's face, his eyes lowering, trying to avoid the seething look Alec was giving him for a moment. He quickly covered up the expression, however, in a stubbornly pursed mouth, raising his eyes again in question. "Then tell me this. Is it because of what I did, or what I did after?"

"It's everything!" Alec exploded, slamming one hand over the other closed fist, making a loud cracking sound as if to express how frustrated he was without physically taking it out on Magnus (or taking it out anymore on the door. That was a losing battle).

"Everything?"

"The way you acted yesterday morning, the way you treated me when I got here last night. You didn't speak to me much of the party, and yes, the kiss was a _huge_ problem. But that's not the only problem!" It was just the hurtful image Alec kept seeing every time he closed his eyes and tried to breathe through it.

"And what about you?"

"What about me?" Alec replied, indignant.

"You come out scott free in all this?"

"What?"

"You're entirely the victim, and I'm the bad guy - that's how you're making it sound."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. You're acting like it - like I can't do right by you."

"You _cheated_ on me, you asshole!"

"A kiss doesn't qualify as cheating."

"Then what can I call it? A betrayal?" Alec asked, upper lip drawing back.

"A small slip?"

Alec reached over and snatched up the key, throwing it at Magnus's face. Magnus cringed slightly, managing to avoid being keyed without having to redirect it with his wrist.

"It was a big fucking slip."

"It was a simple gesture, Alec. It was just a kid wishing me Happy New Year."

Alec growled. "It takes less time to say the words than to kiss someone."

"True, but it's a lot more fun to kiss instead of tell."

"I hate you!" Alec cried out, turning around with his fists clenched. Of course, he really meant 'I hate that I love you and you hurt me'. Alec was angry that he'd opened himself up to it to begin with. He should have known better. He should have known Magnus couldn't be exceptionally good to him forever, when he was aloof and sarcastic and downright mean at times with everyone else. The fact that he was so different with Alec was still something Alec couldn't fully understand.

"No, you don't."

"I do right now!" Alec snapped.

"Maybe," Magnus conceded. Alec tensed when he realized how much closer his voice sounded. "But for how long?" Magnus asked in a low rasp, the kind he used to tease Alec with. But that was an entrely different situation. Alec turned around, flinching back when he realized Magnus was standing right in front of him. He stepped back into the door.

"Why can't you just say you're sorry? And mean it."

"I am sorry I hurt you," Magnus carefully replied, looking sincere.

"But not for anything you did?" Alec asked, brows drawn. His right hand was snarled around the material of his coat, twisting it.

"It's done. Apologizing now would be pointless."

"It's not pointless. It would mean something to me."

"Then how could you be sure I'm not lying, just to make you happy?" Magnus asked, brows raised.

Alec jerked, but Magnus was right. He could do it easily, and Alec would fall for it just because part of him desperately wanted things to be OK again with Magnus - wanted everything to be normal and comfortable again. He wanted someone to reassure him, to comfort him, and while Isabelle was perhaps the closest support he had, it still wasn't the same as having the shoulders and the arms and reassuring kisses of your boyfriend.

But Alec wasn't ready for that; he wasn't willing to admit defeat just so he could feel better. Plus, there was something fundamentally wrong with wanting to be comforted by the same person that hurt you to begin with. And he wasn't going to let it happen.

When Alec didn't reply to that, Magnus leaned in closer. Alec had to clench his hand harder around the edge of his coat to keep from shoving him back.

"I miss you."

"Stop," Alec breathed, cringing back into the cool wood of the door.

"I do. I'm not used to spending the night alone."

"Maybe next time you should think about that before you start kissing strangers," Alec hissed.

"So there will be a next time?"

"I hope not!"

"I meant, you're going to give me another chance?"

Realizing his mistake, Alec turned his cheek away with an unpleasant blush, choking out: "I didn't--"

"How else is this supposed to end?" Magnus asked in a soft, sweet voice, his warm breath fanning Alec's averted cheek, causing the shadowhunter to shiver. "I love you. I am sorry I hurt you, and I'm sorry I showed my ass all day. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"That doesn't excuse the fact that you did!"

"No, it doesn't," Magnus agreed. "But it should account for something, right?"

Alec's eyes twitched, narrowing for a second. Where was this side of Magnus yesterday? Why had anything sweet and considerate checked out? Magnus's tone had been entirely different. Why did it have to take Alec threatening to walk out to bring it back? Alec shouldn't have to be served up as a sacrifice, just to make Magnus play nice.

"It's not enough," Alec whispered, looking away again. He reached back and placed his hand on the doorknob. "Please let me go."

Magnus paused, frowning. He stared at Alec's face, and Alec waited, uncomfortable until the warlock stepped away and nodded his head.

Alec turned around and tried the doorknob once more. This time it gave. Alec opened the door quickly and walked out, taking the steps two at a time on his way back down.


	16. Worry

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Sixteen: Worry  
**

* * *

_"Hey. I'm not by the phone right now. Ummm. You know what to do. I'll get back to you when I can."_

**[Beep]**

There was a brief pause, enough to breathe in. Then: "Alec."

Another pause, and then a sigh. Why was talking to a recording more difficult than trying to have a conversation with an evasive shadowhunter? Would Alec even listen to this message before he deleted it? Would he look at the caller ID and then just delete the message, unwilling to hear the sound of Magnus's voice?

That sounded petty. It sounded cowardly and stubborn and not productive in the least. But at the moment, it also sounded so _Alec_. Magnus contemplated hanging up and calling back. Instead, he'd go through the motions and leave the damned message. He wasn't going to be the cowardly and evasive one.

"I wish you were here. I wanted to high tail after you, but pissing you off on the stairwell isn't my idea of a good time." Pause. "Anyway, if you want to talk, I'm here. Cleared out my schedule for the rest of the afternoon, so, I'm all yours.

"I love you." Magnus inhaled, debating tacking on something else to the message. No, that was the best way to end it.

**[Click]**

**[ --- ]  
**

_"Hey. I'm not by the phone right now. Ummm. You know what to do. I'll get back to you when I can."_

**[Beep]**

"Alec..."

There was a shuffling in the background, sheets rustling, the cell phone slipping. A muffled curse, and Magnus's voice returned.

"Baby. I called twice earlier. I know you can see that on your call log, but I didn't want to be supremely annoying and leave a message every time. That's pretty pathetic, right?"

A humorless laugh. "I don't know why I thought this phone-spamming plan would work. It didn't go very far when you used it."

More shifting, and a slow exhale. "I'm sorry about that. I still feel like a bastard for ignoring your calls, but at the time... well, that's water under the bridge now. It was childish. And I hope you'll forgive me for that, and...you'll give me a chance to make this better too? I can fix this, Alec. We can work it out. You just have to talk to me. Pick up the phone next time I call, and if you want, I won't even talk. I'll just listen. Yeah, it'll be really hard to shut up, but I promise--"

**[Cut off by the voice mail]**

**[ --- ]**

_"Hey. I'm not by the phone right now. Ummm. You know what to do. I'll get back to you when I can."_

**[Beep]**

"You realize the whole 'silent treatment' thing isn't cute unless you're a girl, right? It's not even cute if you _are_ a girl, it's just one of the many games guys have to deal with when they take on a woman."

Magnus paused, deciding against his next point. He wasn't trying to piss Alec off. He had to remember that.

"OK. So, you're still running. I'm tired of chasing after your voice mail. I'm not calling again. I got your message loud and clear. But don't think I'm stopping here. There are other ways to stalk your peeved boyfriend, aside from spamming his phone. You've given me no other choice. So, I guess if I don't hear from you soon, I'll see you around?"

**[Click]**

- - - -

The phone slid from Alec's hand, clattering to the floor. His hands slowly moved to cover his face, hot breath puffing against his palms before he shoved his hands back through his hair, mussing it even more than it already was. He curled his fingers around his hair, pulling on the strands in frustration.

He should have known Magnus wouldn't just let it rest, let it fester. Magnus wasn't exceptionally patient. The only thing working in Alec's favor had been the fact that Magnus lived in Brooklyn, and he was typically housebound as High Warlock, taking calls at all hours of the day - and calling Alec in between appointments. But he hadn't had the chance to break away yet, to try to speak with Alec in person since the day they had squared off at Magnus's flat.

But that was about to change. And Alec knew when they inevitably met that Magnus was going to press him for a decision. He knew what Magnus wanted; just to make it all better, and set aside their problems. But Alec wasn't willing to do that.

On the other hand, he did feel...something every time he heard Magnus's voice on his phone, something that wasn't anger or pain. Alec wasn't sure he was ready to face a time when he wouldn't hear Magnus's voice anymore, when another week would pass without seeing him.

Magnus had done some really shitty things, and Alec was still waiting for Magnus to admit to them. He had to admit he was in the wrong before Alec could begin to believe, much less accept his apologies. If Magnus wanted everything to be OK, then Alec had his own terms. He wasn't going to let Magnus clear the slate with a few hot kisses and call it a day. It was a kiss that started this whole thing, and Alec still couldn't get the damned memory out of his mind. At night when it was quiet, and he was stretched out uncomfortably in his narrow bed, he saw them together. He didn't even have to close his eyes anymore to remember perfectly.

Magnus wasn't haunted by anything. The worst he was probably suffering from was a lack of Alec in his bed, whereas Alec's had to share his undersized bed with the single memory of Magnus with another man.

And if he successfully got rid of the green-haired boy, then there were other hurtful reminders. The way Magnus talked to him that night, Magnus angry at him in the morning, Magnus glaring at him like Alec was stupid and immature.

That had to be addressed too. Alec couldn't make it easy for Magnus.

It wasn't that he was punishing the warlock now, ignoring his phone calls. Alec needed that time to think, needed to think without being interrupted. He didn't want to speak to Magnus until he was ready this time, until he was clear on what he wanted and how he hoped to go about it. And as persuasive and tempting as each of Magnus's calls were, especially the first, Alec was relieved that he hadn't picked up. By the last call, Alec was more resolute. He was glad he hadn't given Magnus the satisfaction.

Magnus had threatened to stalk him. What, was he going to just show up outside the Institute and wait until someone let him in? Did he plan on following them out on a mission? That was a little unreasonable. They couldn't afford the distraction, and Magnus really shouldn't be around when they--

The thought made Alec sick. Inhaling sharply, he got down on the floor, patting the carpet in search of his phone. Encountering cold metal, Alec picked it up and used the speed dial, trying to reach Magnus.

The phone rang twice, before the warlock picked up.

"Alec," Magnus answered straight-away. There was so much longing, so much...pure happiness in the use of that one word, the way Magnus all, but embraced his name, that Alec bit his lip, nails curling into his knee with the onset of nerves.

The pause must have stretched out too long.

"Alec?" Magnus repeated, worry and concern in his tone now.

"I don't want you to come," Alec blurted out, although the sentiment came out all wrong.

"Oh?"

"I mean, it's not that. I, if you came at the wrong time, it just wouldn't--" Alec breathed in through his nose, forcing himself to shut up for a second until he could reorganize his thoughts. "Just don't come here, OK? I'll...come to you."

"All right. That's fine," Magnus replied, sounding relieved. He was also being very careful. "When should I expect you?"

"I can't come right now. It's too early."

"Of course. Duty calls. Tonight?"

"Probably late."

"That's fine."

"K."

"Alec?"

"What?" Alec replied after a moment's hesitation, biting his thumb.

"I love you."

Alec hung up, heart pounding in his ears. He wasn't ready for that, not yet.


	17. Weak

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Seventeen: Weak  
**

* * *

Ten past twelve. Just a little over midnight. It was not his favorite time of day, not since New Years.

Alec thought about waiting, delaying heading over to Brooklyn just so the hour could pass. And maybe the longer he put it off, the more likely Magnus would have just given up on seeing him tonight and headed on to bed.

But that was not a well-thought out plan. Of course, Magnus would be up. He kept extraordinarily late hours all the time, not only because he was on call, but also because of _Alec. _He was perpetually waiting up for Alec to come home.

Alec winced at the mental phrasing. Magnus's flat in Williamsburg was not his home.

Really.

And yet the familiar sight of the light on upstairs was calling him. Alec couldn't deny the old feeling of longing. It was creeping up on him like it always did when he walked briskly up to Magnus's building, a restless need that compelled him to take the side stairs two or three at a time to get up to Magnus's door that much sooner.

But Alec didn't have his key. He was going to have to use the call box. So yet again, Alec stood at the same impasse: stay and get Magnus's attention, or go, with the warlock none the wiser.

The decision came quicker this time. Alec opened the front door and headed inside, walking straight up to the brass box and pressing the button near the nameplate that read Bane.

Not five seconds later, the intercom crackled.

"I'm closed for business," Magnus said by a way of a greeting, his voice low and raspy, warding off what he thought was a late-night business call.

"It's personal," Alec responded, feeling the heat in his face, his heartbeat picking up the pace. But he was done running. He looked towards the door to the stairwell as if Magnus would appear there any moment, just by the sound of Alec's voice.

"I'm always open to you, Alec," Magnus replied. Normally, his voice would have crooned around a phrase like that. Instead, Magnus said it softly, gently. Tenderly.

Alec scowled at the call back, taking a step back as if the distance would change anything.

"I don't want to come up."

"Would you prefer I come down?" Magnus's reply came back without hesitation, the static breaking up the pure quality of his voice, but not the words themselves.

"That's fine," Alec replied, then turned away from the call box altogether, walking a few feet back towards the front door, making sure he wouldn't be standing _right there_ when Magnus came down. He needed space to think, to focus.

Leaning against the wall, Alec clearly heard when the door upstairs opened and closed, when the warlock's steady footfalls descended the creaking stairs. The side door eased open with a protesting groan and Magnus stood in the opening, hesitating between the shadowy corridor and the entry.

Alec sucked in a breath at the sight of him. Magnus's hair was down, smooth as silk, and solid black. No gel, no glitter, no styling product whatsoever - none that he could make out. It looked touchably soft, falling over one of Magnus's eyes. As Magnus swiped at the fall of bang, moving the silken hair out of his eyes, Alec's attention shifted to Magnus's eyes instead, also devoid of cosmetic glamor. No eye shadow, no kohl, no glitter. Just the pale green warring with shimmering gold, the fringe of his dark lashes.

Magnus smiled at the sight of Alec, the tiny, barely there crinkles settling into the corners of his eyes. His mouth was a soft pink curve. The shadowhunter couldn't help staring at Magnus's mouth, not missing the way one side kicked up, enjoying the shadowhunter's uninterrupted perusal.

When Alec finally realized what he was doing, what - for all he knew, Magnus had meant to happen, coming down looking like _that_, he forced his eyes to look away, glancing at the paint chipping on the grimy wall, listening to the sound of a neighbor's music rattling the floorboards.

It probably wasn't the most secluded idea for a meeting place. Anyone could step out of the apartments on the first floor and take it from awkward to unnerving. But that was a chance Alec was willing to take, still preferring a distraction and possible onlookers to being in Magnus's place, giving Magnus the upper hand. It was a territorial thing. Everyone, including demons and Downworlders, had safe places, places where they were at their strongest. This was Magnus's safe place. Maybe it used to be Alec's too, but not when they were fighting. It was the last place Alec wanted to be, surrounded by everything _Magnus_, with Magnus's cat rubbing up against his calf or biting and swatting at his boot, vying for Alec's attention.

At least here, standing in the run down entryway, nothing smelled like Magnus. There were no memories compelling and distracting Alec. Maybe on the stairwell, in the door of Magnus's house, but not right here. They never lingered here for long.

"Hello," Magnus greeted, his long fingers still running back through his hair, trying to distract Alec again. He wasn't taking the bait. Alec stood his ground, staring into Magnus's eyes.

"Hi."

"I'm glad you came."

"I asked for the meeting."

"You did," Magnus agreed, releasing his hair. It whispered back against the side of his face, surely tickling the soft skin of Magnus's cheek. But he didn't twitch. "Thank you."

Alec nodded, not really sure Magnus should be thanking him, but it was a trivial point to argue.

"So, can we talk?" Magnus asked, brows raised, one arm out like he was about to ask Alec if it was OK if they shared a hug or something. Alec took a small step away, resisting the urge to gnaw on his lower lip.

"That's why I'm here."

"Are you sure you don't want to go upstairs?"

"Very," Alec was too quick to answer, swallowing again.

"OK," Magnus softly replied, palm down now, placating. Calming. The smallest sign that Alec was starting to become distressed, and Magnus pulled back. He really was trying make it easier on him.

But where was this thoughtfulness and compassion before? Why couldn't Magnus have pretended to care when Alec needed him?

"I can't sleep," Alec suddenly confided, shoving one hand inside the pocket of his jacket.

"It's hard for me too."

"Is it?"

"Extremely."

"Why?" Alec asked, though he felt sure he knew the answer.

"I don't like sleeping alone anymore. It's too quiet, and the bed is too big."

"I don't have that problem," Alec replied, mouth tightening. He wasn't going to feel bad for Magnus. Magnus was the reason Magnus was now missing out on someone to share the bed with.

"I know. Your bed barely fits you."

"We're not doing this, Magnus!" Alec snapped abruptly, slashing his hand through the air.

Magnus nodded, brows lifting slightly. But he took Alec's volatile shifting mood in stride, accepting it. "OK. What's safe to talk about, then?"

"Why did you kiss that boy?" Alec asked on one strangled breath, swallowing with difficulty after he got it out. His eyes twitched, but he didn't look away, forcing himself to keep his eyes level with Magnus's.

"He kissed me."

"Magnus," Alec growled in warning, not going to take this bull shit again.

"Do you want me to lie to make you feel better? I'm not going to do that, Alec," Magnus replied, crossing his arms over his chest. It seemed like he did it just to have something to do with his arms, not used to just standing still with them fallen against his sides. "It was a New Year's kiss, the same thing everyone else in the room was doing at the time. He kissed me, and I let him. I don't even remember what it felt like. I don't think I cared or thought about it after it was over. I wasn't thinking about anything. I was riding a nice buzz, and enjoying the music and the warmth of the crowd. And then I looked back and I saw you watching."

Alec stared at the warlock, trying to respect his honesty, trying not to call him a liar or a bastard or any number of ugly names from his I-hate-you word bank.

He wanted to be angry at Magnus. He wanted to cut him off and hurl accusations at him like he did last time. But the time since then had diffused some of his anger. And the look Magnus gave Alec now was working on him even more. Damn him.

Clenching one fist, Alec looked away from Magnus, unwilling to fold, just like that.

"Did you feel anything then?"

"I felt like shit."

"Good," Alec retorted, grimacing.

"Alec..." Magnus began, trying to take a careful step closer.

"No," Alec said in a low voice, hearing his movement.

"I hurt you."

"Yes."

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it? You're punishing me for it. Don't I get to plead my case?"

"I'm not punishing you!"

"Oh?"

Alec turned to glare at him. "Well, if I was, wouldn't I be justified?"

Magnus didn't answer, but gestured for him to continue.

"I want to hate you," Alec admitted, nails digging into his palm.

"I'm glad you don't."

Alec twitched, but couldn't think of how to reply to that. He couldn't chase it with "I hate you," because he'd just said he didn't. He'd kind of backed himself up into a corner.

"Can you forgive me?" Magnus asked, taking his step closer. This time Alec didn't make him stop.

"I don't know."

"Let me make it up to you."

"No."

Magnus faced changed so quickly, Alec was stunned. His eyes widened, then he glanced away, hurt - and trying to hide it from Alec.

Alec wasn't going to feel bad about it! He wasn't. Magnus deserved to be brought down a notch or two. Alec had been stuck at the bottom since New Years.

"I don't want you to make it better. And I can't just forget it happened."

"Then what do you want?" Magnus asked, lifting his eyes again. They looked almost hopeful now.

Alec sucked in a breath, put on the spot. What did he want? What could he ask of Magnus that would be fair for both of them?

"Tell me it didn't mean anything." He was referring to the kiss. He could forgive the act, but he needed to know it was just an one-time kiss to Magnus, one he wasn't thinking about every night like Alec was, plagued by the memory.

"It meant nothing."

Alec bit his lip, still not satisfied. "Tell me you were just being an ass."

"I have been an ass. I _am _an ass, but I should have spared you from it."

"Tell me you're sorry, and _mean _it," Alec demanded, his heartbeat drumming against the inside of his ears.

Magnus took another step closer, then another when Alec didn't flinch away or order him to stop.

"I don't regret much. I don't like the feeling. It has a bitter aftertaste I can't chase with a bottle of vodka. But I do regret hurting you. I could have prevented it, if I'd expended any effort. But I didn't. I didn't even see the need until you were gone."

"Until you woke up alone?"

"With a hell of a hangover. I tried the bottle of vodka, after all the faerie cocktails I'd already had that night. Didn't help," Magnus replied with a shrug, smiling sadly.

"So...?" Alec prompted, needing to hear it.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm even more sorry I lost you."

Alec waited, breathing in and out with control. "OK."

"OK?"

"That's all I wanted to hear," Alec said, turning towards the door and pushing it open, stepping out into the cold night. He tugged his coat closer around him as he jogged down the steps and started along the pavement, heading back.

"Alec," he heard Magnus call from behind him, then the door being thrown open almost as soon as it creaked shut, the warlock fast on his heels.

"Magnus," Alec replied without turning his head, still walking.

"Where are you going?"

"Home."

"Don't you want to--" Magnus left the sentence unfinished. Alec knew what Magnus wanted. But he wasn't sure it was a smart move.

"I'm tired," Alec said.

"I am too."

"I'm not going to spend the night."

"Then, would you like to just come up and relax? Then I could call a cab."

"You're pathetic," Alec replied, surprised by how much he enjoyed Magnus's attempt to make him stay.

"I'm needy. There's a difference," Magnus replied, stepping in front of Alec. "I'd understand if you were still trying to be mad at me. But you're not mad."

"No."

"You came all this way. Why leave now?"

"Maybe I'm not ready for this yet." Alec gestured between them, though he was hyper-aware of the fact that Magnus hadn't touched him yet. It was something he really missed, Alec realized, unable to deny it with the warlock standing so close, his hair smelling like citrus, his skin giving off that clean, exotic smell.

"You won't know until you try it," Magnus replied with a wink and a persuasive lean closer, the breeze catching on his hair, shifting the longer strands across his eyes.

"Was that your plan all along?"

"Maybe."

"I know."

"Is it working?" Magnus murmured, close enough now that Alec could feel his hot breath fanning his cheek.

"I don't..."

"Stay with me," Magnus whispered, looking up at Alec from beneath his dark lashes and the haphazard bangs.

Alec bit his lower lip, feeling Magnus's breath against his teeth, his mouth _so close_.

Seconds passed. Magnus waited. Alec hesitated.

Finally Alec nodded, lifting his chin.


	18. With

**When the Ball Drops**  
by ariviand

**Chapter Eighteen: With  
**

* * *

"Can I kiss you?" Magnus asked, the abrupt sound of his voice startling Alec.

"No."

"No?" The warlock straightened up, looking down his nose at Alec, one dark brow raised.

"I'm not sure you deserve it."

"Well. Tell me how I can change that," Magnus inquired after a pause, hooking his thumb through the belt loop of Alec's jeans.

"Stop that."

"Ohhh. Pushy," Magnus tsked, but didn't release Alec's pants. Instead he gave a slight tug, bringing him closer.

"No," Alec said, with more authority this time. He encircled the warlock's wrist, wrenching his hand free. When he glanced up with a scowl, he was surprised to see Magnus smiling.

"You're so cute when you're trying to be tough."

"Shut up."

"See what I mean?" Magnus purred, curling the fingers of his free hand beneath Alec's chin, tilting it upward and stroking the soft skin underneath. With his right hand, Alec slapped the offending hand away.

"Stop playing around," Alec hissed.

"Who's playing? I'm just trying to touch my boyfriend."

The breath left Alec's lungs in a loud exhale. Alec looked back up at Magnus, his eyes uncertain. Magnus continued to caress the top of Alec's throat, returning the glance.

"Is that OK?" Magnus asked, his voice softer now. He wasn't goofing off. Alec noticed and appreciated the difference. He responded better to this Magnus, Magnus without the teasing or the sarcasm or the button-pushing.

Alec nodded a little, letting Magnus touch him now without grumbling or trying to fight him off.

"Good," Magnus murmured, lip twitching. Alec's eyes were closing, mouth unconsciously relaxing as if he anticipated a kiss. Magnus leaned forward, lowering his chin as if that was exactly what he intended to do. Alec felt the warmth of the warlock's breath again, tickling his lips, the edges of his teeth.

But then, rather than feel the pressure of his mouth, Alec heard as well as felt the soft chuckle against his lips.

"Do you ever feel weird kissing a man nearly forty times your age?"

Alec's eyes flew open and he shoved his hand flat against Magnus's chest, pushing him away. "Ugh. Why do you say have something like that _right now_? Can't you stop kidding for one second and just kiss me?"

"Are you sure? Think about it. I'm nearly 800--"

Alec grabbed hold of Magnus's chin and dragged his mouth back down, effectively cutting off these words with a kiss. There was a low, vibrating sound trapped between them, likely the sound of Magnus's laughter, caught in his throat and stifled by the kiss. But the warlock was hardly complaining about being cut off mid sentence. And Alec didn't seem to mind kissing a man, a Downworlder even, who happened to be forty times his age.

As long as said Downworlder was only kissing_ him_, Alec didn't have a problem with the rest.

Alec had one hand fisted around Magnus's shirt; Magnus had his fingers curled around Alec's waistband again, nails gently scratching the sensitive skin of Alec's belly. Together they moved backwards at a slow, unhurried pace, kissing and gasping, grabbing, pulling hair, kissing, and gasping again as they made their way back to Magnus's building. Magnus had one hand out to steady them against the wall. Alec felt the brick digging into his back, and he arched against it before fumbling for the doorknob. Magnus finally opened the door with the wave of his wrist since Alec seemed to be having serious difficulty with the simple task.

The shadowhunter led them back inside the dark, stale entryway, the dying lightbulb still blinking overhead. Magnus got the side door again and together, they stumbled and laughed and kissed their way back upstairs until the door at the top of the landing creaked open and shut again, locking them securely inside the flat.

**THE END**

**

* * *

**

_Sorry about the long hiatus. I took a break from FF and I probably should have said something. But I am trying to get back into updating all my old stories. I'm also thinking of writing a kind of epilogue for this story. Since Magic Moment is finished, I wouldn't mind working on another M-rated fic if anyone is interested in reading it. If not, then it'll just be chapter updates for Between Burroughs and CCHS. Is that all I'm working on now? Oh, Inspiration. But I usually only update that now when someone sends me a link to a Malec pic they love (or made). If you want a little ficlet to go with your image, shoot it my way! PM is fine._

_Thank you for reading. And I hope this short chap made up for all the angst._

-ariviand


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